Stigall: Ronda Rousey Didn't Lose. She's Lost.
By Chris Stigall
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) -- Alarmed and really deflated. That's my reaction to Ronda Rousey's tearful admission she wanted to end her life after a high profile loss in a UFC match last year.
Honestly, I don't know anything about UFC. I don't even think about Rousey unless she's on a screen I happen to be watching or reading. But I do know millions invest in her.
I know she graces the covers of many magazines, makes many guest appearances on various talk and variety shows, and has an obvious fan base within the wildly popular UFC scene.
On a human level, this woman I typically think nothing of or feel anything for drove me to pity her, and candidly, pray for her this week.
She shared her private thoughts Tuesday with Ellen DeGeneres' national TV audience. Choking up, Rousey began to recall what was going through her mind after she'd been rushed to a local hospital, having suffered a severe knockout loss to Holly Holm. It was also her first professional loss, by the way.
"Honestly, my thought in the medical room, I was sitting in the corner and was like, 'What am I anymore if I'm not this?'" Rousey said. "Literally sitting there thinking about killing myself. In that exact second, I'm like, 'I'm nothing. What do I do anymore? No one gives a sh*t about me anymore without this.'"
Rousey ultimately credited her boyfriend, UFC heavyweight Travis Browne, as her reason to live after all.
"I looked up and saw my man, Travis, was standing there," Rousey said. "I'm looking up at him and was just like, 'I need to have his babies. I need to stay alive.'"
The live audience applauded wildly. Media outlets reported the tearful admission as a "brave moment." I don't see it that way.
I saw this as profoundly sad and indicative of what ails our national conscience generally.
What Rousey is saying is her worth is tied up in winning fights. And if she's no longer considered the best in the UFC arena, then she sees no value in herself or to others at all.
Not that I don't understand that feeling. I used to feel that way, too.
After losing my first "dream job" – a morning show maturity has since taught me was the furthest thing from a dream – I was despondent.
All my life I'd wanted a morning show on the radio. I finally got it - in my hometown, no less. Then, fired a year and a half later.
I poured my heart into that first job. So much so, I turned my back to anything else. Not a great relationship with my new wife. Too absorbed with the job to have strong relationships with friends and family. But most consequential for me, I turned away from my spiritual life completely.
This is a personal and often divisive subject with people, I understand. It's not my intent to preach or insist you follow me to church this Sunday. It's none of my business. I'm simply trying to say to the Ronda Rouseys of the world – there's more to this life. You're of more worth than mere mortals tell you or your job may make you feel.
No love interest, child, boss, job, or dollar amount will ever validate your life enough if you don't already feel you're of value without those things.
Yes, being a parent is the best. But kids grow up and ideally, don't need you as much as they once did. Then what? Yes, you're great at your job, but then you're fired or retire. Then what? Sure, you've got a great love life – until it's not great. Then what?
There's booze. There's drugs. There's sex. Those are answers in the short term. I do and have enjoyed two of the three, by the way! No piety from me on that.
There's politics, too. There are millions of angry voters who want to invest their hearts and souls into mortals whom they believe will somehow better their lives. They understand them. They're gonna make America great again! They'll get even with the corrupt billionaires of Wall Street. Yes they can!
But then, they don't.
Political pep-rallies, like a great drink, feel great the night you're doing it. Happy days are just around the corner! This is the answer! He's the answer!
No it's not. No he's not. You're still going to be unhappy tomorrow after the election, and after you get a new job, or had a baby, or got married…
I was a pretty desperate guy once seeking validation through those things. I lost it all and learned I had no control over anything happening to me. It takes that kind of collapse to finally "give it away."
That's when I decided to walk back through the front door of my local church.
It doesn't matter which door you walk through to me. But I hope the Ronda Rouseys of the world find a door to walk through, somewhere, where they'll be shown their true worth and from where it comes.
Or, if you don't want walk through that door, there's a great book I can recommend. I'll even recommend the page that is still my favorite. It's the page of the book a scared, desperate, out of work radio guy was introduced to that really began to change his life.
Matthew 6: 25-34
Maybe I'm overstepping by writing about such things. Perhaps you'd rather not hear it, or read about it. You may be uncomfortable with the subject matter or think differently of me after reading this.
Nevertheless, I'm 100% comfortable with that. I know who I am and whose I am. The strength that comes from knowing that is something I wish for every human being.
We're all going to lose something from time to time. But there is a tremendous promise that exists for all of us. A promise that losing never has to mean feeling lost.
