Grand Imperial Poobah: Trades Places With Ryan Howard
By Stan "The Grand Imperial Poobah" Hochman
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) --- (Editor's Note) Stan Hochman, a Daily News sports columnist for 55 years, has been appearing on 94WIP's morning show for over a year now, settling disputes (and starting new ones) as the "Grand Imperial Poobah." He brings that persona to CBSPhilly.com/poobah on Tuesdays and Thursdays and we welcome input on which issues you want the Poobah to take a good, hard look at. Send requests and ideas for The Poobah to WIPpoobah@gmail.com.
Without further ado, here's The Poobah.
Phil E. Phan: My sources tell me that Poobah did, indeed, trade places with Ryan Howard last week. How did it work out?
Poobah: Your sources are impeccable, which means they lack pecs, abs, quads and most other muscles. We were hoping to keep it quiet, but apparently the secret is out. I struck out with runners in scoring position and heard boos. I drove in the winning run in two games against the Mets and heard cheers. This is a fickle crowd. Been fickle for three years. The Phillies have been lousy for three years. Case closed.
Met with the interior decorator who wanted to know how many flat-screen high-def 56-inch television sets we wanted for the bedrooms in that modest home we're building in Florida. I told him six was a nice round number and he did a nifty pirouette, so I guess that means he was happy.
And then I drove in the game-winning run on Sunday and got mobbed, tackled, pounded. Wound up with a mouthful of infield dirt, wondering if the standings were right and we were really in last place. Maybe Ryne Sandberg will put in another drill next spring, how to celebrate. It will follow the drill for outfielders on how to hit the cutoff man. Which will follow the drill for outfielders on how to track a fly ball, but I don't think Howard will trade places with the Poobah again. He said he didn't miss the boos, but he did miss the pay check at the end of the month.
You can hear Stan "The Grand Imperial Poobah" Hochman on the 94WIP Morning Show every Thursday at 7:20am E.T. Send the Philadelphia sports issues you want The Poobah to tackle to WIPpoobah@gmail.com
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