Gary R'Nel Talks To La Salle Therapist About Thanksgiving
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) – Gary R'Nel spoke with Donna Tonrey, The Director of the Counseling and Family Therapy Master's Program at the School of Arts and Sciences at La Salle University, on Talk Radio 1210 WPHT about dealing with stressful family situations as we enter the holiday season.
Tonrey stated that Thanksgiving can lead to a lot of stress for many people visiting relatives over the weekend.
"We tend to have expectations that the Holiday's going to present something wonderful and Thanksgiving is really just about family. It's about family gathering together and having a meal and sometimes people aren't necessarily looking forward to some of the family members they're going to see. Maybe they don't see them that often, so there could be a little trepidation of how things are going to go. On the other side of it, they could be very excited about seeing the family members and then have some disappointment when they get together and things don't turn out exactly how they expect. So, it's pretty complex. Obviously, families are complex and because the Thanksgiving holiday really focuses in on the family, the complexity travels with the people."
She suggests staying away from conversations on topics that could start arguments and lead to more stress at the dinner table.
"I would probably start with politics. Unless everyone is on the same page, I would stay away from politics. That seems to be one that can really be touchy. People get emotional when they talk about politics and people are coming into family situations with all the family emotions, now you add political emotions on top of it? It's not a good topic."
Tonrey added that Thanksgiving is not the time to confront any serious pressing matter; instead the day should be used to set the tone for such a discussion in the future.
"This is the time to think about what you're thankful for. So if people use the time to only think about what is positive about the day, about the meal, about the people they're sitting with, about, maybe, some memories that they have, and keep their mind focused on the positive, yet knowing that there's other family issues that need to be worked through or talked about. Use the positive energy that you get from the day of Thanksgiving and maybe follow up afterwards."