Whitt's End: 9.21.12
Whether you've reached the end of your rope or merely the end of your week, welcome to Whitt's End:
*I feel ya, it's maddening. Watching Martellus Bennett flourish with the New York Giants is actually sickening. In 60 games as a Cowboy the former 2nd-round draft pick produced 4 touchdowns, 0 in his final 3 seasons in Dallas. With the star on his helmet he was just as likely to bobble a pass into an interception as make a catch. But in New York he's the first Giant to have a TD catch in each of his first 3 games. In 3 games he has 15 catches. He had 17 all of last season. I know the Cowboys have a Hall-of-Famer in Jason Witten, but their non-development of guys like Anthony Fasano, Scott Chandler and Bennett is an indictment of the coaching staff. Of course what should the Cowboys have done to get Bennett more catches, throw less to Witten?
*I've never been more confused about the Rangers' Josh Hamilton. Goes on Jimmy Kimmel Monday night, seemingly healthy and laughing and generally being a fantastic guest. Tuesday in Anaheim he is joking around with teammates before the game, has 2 at-bats against Jered Weaver and then leaves the game with blurry vision or a sinus problem or something. Apparently he's headed back to the Metroplex to have the vision problems checked out, but not before sitting on the bench last night wearing a fake mustache. Yes, I'm serious.
*It's big, but not really a big advantage. The Cowboys open their 4th season in the $1.2 billion Cowboys Stadium Sunday against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. In 3 regular seasons they are only 13-11 (1-0 in the playoffs) in Arlington. Maybe this will help. I've been squawking about the team's 5 Super Bowl banners not hanging at the new stadium and – voila! – there they are. They'll be hanging from the rafters Sunday. Better late than never.
*If there was indeed a grand architect who developed a plan for this planet, you think he/she/it ultimately desired for us to cherish entertainment over education? Me neither. But that's certainly the case, evidenced by the fact that of all the thoughtful, insightful, helpful pieces of journalism on the Internet, it's a dude (sorta) dancing in a bow tie that gets 229 million hits. Sigh about Psy.
*Tony Romo is 3-0 vs. Tampa Bay with 11 TDs and 0 interceptions. Can't explain it. Just passing it along.
*HOT
*NOT
*During the Sean Lee Show Thursday afternoon on 105.3 The Fan the Cowboys' linebacker summed up what we all felt about Golden Tate's post-hit, crawling, flexing, point celebration: "Classless."
*A Texas high school quarterback last night threw for 595 yards and 6 TDs, and lost. Marble Falls (west of Austin) beat Boerne Champion, 62-56, in a game where its quarterback Mike Richardson completed 35 of 44 for a state-record 715 yards and 7 TDs.
*UFC 152. Bones over Belfort. Easy.
*QUARTERBET 2012: The NFL, more than ever, is a quarterback league. Gonna try an experiment. Regardless of site or line or team, I'm going to bet a mythical $100 on every NFL game versus the spread this year merely by picking the best quarterback in the game. Through 2 weeks the theory is 13-16-3. After WEEK 2: -$460. So far, so bad.
*The iPhone 5 is here. Somehow I'm going to resist the temptation to sit in line and wait 5 hours to get one.
*If you missed my CBS column asking you to Pray for Rayne. 1. Shame on you. 2. Here's your second chance.
*In 2000 Robert Wayne Harris was fired from his job at an Irving car wash when his bosses found him masturbating in a bathroom. Pissed, he returned an opened fire on anyone and everyone, killing 5 co-workers. Last night he was executed in Huntsville. His final words: "God bless. Texas Rangers … Texas Rangers." Weird.
*Real quiet on the "replacement refs suck!" front this morning after a very professionally handled game last night in Charlotte.
*If you're looking for Dallas Cowboys' news, don't go to www.Cowboys.com. You've been warned.
*You want NFL parity? You got it. After 2 weeks 6 teams are 2-0, 6 are 0-2 and the rest (20 teams) are 1-1.
*You know your career is careening when you're playing Thackerville, Oklahoma. Even worse when you're arrested with hashish. Right, Fiona Apple?
*Yu Darvish has won 16 games, and last night he made a baseball do Wiffle Ball tricks in baffling the Angels.
*Now that Manny Pacquiao will accept random drug testing and a 45-55 revenue split, Floyd Mayweather has zero reasons not to fight him. Unless, of course, he's chicken?
*If your car doesn't start a couple times do you knee-jerk and drive it in a ditch? If your wife burns the toast twice do you immediately divorce her? No, of course not. Then why do you think the Cowboys should just up and cut Felix Jones? Calm down and read this.
*Biggest change in football isn't rules or pads or size of the players, it's the individual celebrations. Watched highlights of Super Bowl VI the other night and – after his 2nd-quarter TD gave the Cowboys a 10-0 lead over the Dolphins – Lance Alworth jogged to the sideline, barely stopping to slap hands with teammates. Last night I'm watching Giants-Panthers and, after scoring to pull his team to within 23-6, Carolina quarterback Cam Newton pretended to rip off a suit as to expose a Superman "S" on his chest. If that sounds like good ol' syndrome, my compliments. Your hearing is impeccable.
*If you like chocolate-covered strawberries, edible orchid flowers, tightrope walkers, a guy who can do a handstand while balancing on top of 15 chairs or a another who rides a unicycle while juggling a girl, then you'll love Cirque du Soleil Kooza down by old Reunion Arena. Thumbs up!
*This weekend? Tonight we rest. Then Saturday afternoon it's the NHRA Fall Nationals down at Texas Motorplex in Ennis (Greggo and I are gonna race on tricycles). Saturday night it's the UFC 152 Watch Party from my luxurious suite perch at Baby Dolls Dallas (Greggo will be nowhere in sight). Sunday morning it's the Official Cowboys Pre-Game Show on 105.3 The Fan from the West Plaza of Cowboys Stadium at 9 a.m. (Greggo will be on the post-game show.) Then Cowboys-Buccaneers at Noon, then … zzz. Don't be a stranger.
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