Tiger's Women Attempt To Cash In, Again
DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) - Three of the wholesome women Tiger had sexual relations with actually collaborated on a film entitled "3 Mistresses: Notorious Tales of the World's Greatest Golfer." Well, NATURALLY, this led me to think, what if our local athletes were in porn? What would those titles be?
Here's the back story (no pun intended). Basically, three of his former porn-star mistresses are releasing some sort of X-rated movie based on their bedroom encounters with Tiger. The lovely Devon James, Holly Sampson and Joslyn James are starring in "3 Mistresses: Notorious Tales of the World's Greatest Golfer."
Per the official movie synopsis from the film's director, B. Skow, here's what to expect: "In the movie, the women are together for an in-depth Q&A session about Woods which includes explicit discussions about his sexual tastes and on-screen demonstrations of what the golf legend is like in the sack. Any time three women get together to talk about the same guy, the results are going to be more than interesting. Now, when these women also happen to be adult stars that have sex for a living, and reveal they have been with the same guy, you can be sure they'll share absolutely everything."
So without any further ado...here are my suggestions as to what possible seedy videos some of our local athletes may have floating around at some of our local adult stores:
Dirk Nowtizki starring in "Dribble Penetration"
Jason Kidd in "Over the Back Violation Part Three"
Jet in "Taking it Hard to the Hole Eleven"
Lamar Odom in "Big Bodies Banging Hard Down Low"
Yu Darvish starring in "Backdoor Slider"
Josh Hamilton in "I got it, I got it, I got it...oops"
Nelson Cruz in "Day-Night Doubleheader"
Mike Napoli in a double-feature, "Rubber Game" and "Going Yard"
The Cowboys "Big D" starring in "Eight Men in the Box" (defensive coverage)
Brandon Carr in "Illegal Use of Hands Seven"
Tony Romo in "Great Hands Going Deep"
Be proud, mom and dad. Very proud.
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