"The Jock Itch" with Jasmine Sadry: Heat Players "Crying" After Loss to the Bulls, 87-86
DALLAS (105.3 The Fan) Leading off today's "Jock Itch:" It looks like all of these tough losses are just too emotionally overwhelming for the Miami Heat because after they lost their FOURTH straight game yesterday to the Bulls, 87-86, head coach Erik Spoelstra said that a couple of the players were actually "crying" in the locker room, though he declined to say specifically WHO. Now, Chris Bosh said he wasn't one of the ones crying, although he said that coming up short again really hurt him. But, D-Wade took a little snottier approach, saying, "The Miami Heat are exactly what everyone wanted, losing games. The world is better now because the Heat is losing." I mean, after all, it's been a pretty rough stretch for the team that was heralded in an elaborate "second coming" induction ceremony before the season even began! (And please!! Boo hoo, already! How about even before all of that, there was the pomp and circumstance of promised championships three months before training camps even officially reported!) So just to follow the Miami Heat's flow chart here, the Bulls end up beating them by one point after BOTH LeBron James and D-Wade missed shots in the final seconds. On Friday, the Spurs handed the Heat their WORST loss of the season, crushing them 125-95. Then, adding insult to injury, Miami gave up a 24-point lead in the third quarter the previous night against Orlando! (That's the lovely little game that made team president Pat Riley probably have to change his diapers, as he watched the Magic pull off an amazing comeback to win 99-96 after Chris Bosh and LeBron both missed 3-point attempts in the final seconds...)
And in OTHER "itch" worthy news...
Could there be a delicious little cover-up going on in Mormon-ville regarding BYU star forward Brandon Davies' abrupt dismissal from the team for the rest of the season for having premarital sex? So far, details have been pretty hazy surrounding this little scandal because supposedly he admitted to having sex with his girlfriend, a girl named Danica Mendivil, who plays volleyball at ASU. BUT, rumor has it from a pretty credible source that Brandon actually got busted knocking up a BYU professor's DAUGHTER and when the professor found out about his little girl's little "situation" with Brandon, he immediately went to the athletic department and narcked him out! Here's where the "cover-up" theory comes into play: as opposed to just outing Brandon and shining a pretty negative light on BYU, they thought it would just be best for him to take it on the chin and admit to "premarital sex with his girlfriend."
http://www.terezowens.com/davies-had-sex-with-teachers-daughter-not-girlfriend/
And THIS comes as no shock either but it looks like Brandon Davies isn't the ONLY Mormon having trouble keeping it in his pants. His BYU teammate and star guard Jimmer Fredette has been accused in partaking in sexual activities with his girlfriend!! (GASP!!) According to a "source" who used to be friends with Jimmer's girlfriend Whitney, they used to be quite the champs at messing around and doing "other things." Please, like they haven't gone all the way already? And are all of the antics from these players REALLY that surprising when you consider these two words: Jim McMahon? Last time I checked, the ex-NFL-er (known for his drunken driving incident in 2003 and as of 2009, serves as an endorser of a "male enhancement product") was a BYU cougar for four years…just a thought…
http://www.terezowens.com/jimmer-fredette-and-gf-engage-in-sexual-activities/
Phil Jackson and Mark Cuban are crying foul, basically saying: "Hey NBA and the Hornets! You guys are involved in some insider trading!" Correct me if I'm wrong here, but wasn't Cubes being sued/accused at one point, by the SEC of some little "insider trading" of his OWN when he allegedly sold his 6.3 percent stake in Mamma.com (back in June 2004) after getting tipped off that the company was planning a stock offering? (which, incidentally the SEC said it allowed Mark to avoid more than $750,000 of losses--which is also known in the Cuban household as a roll of quarters.) So cute when rich people start poking jabs at each other...
So last week, A's outfielder, Coco Crisp was pulled over for a DUI, where he, oh, failed to drive in a single lane, allegedly blew a .13 on his sobriety test, was driving with an expired registration AND failed to provide current insurance on the Rolls Royce he was driving . During this whole incident, there was a Dodge pick-up truck also following him, and when the cops asked if the truck was related to him, he said "Yes! And it's the Secret Service!" Apparently, there were some "issues with some people so the Secret Service was providing security." The two guys in the Dodge confirmed that they were in fact Coco's private armed security and no other details were given as to why they were even hired in the first place other than that…
Here's your Charlie Sheen weekend recap in a nutshell: He's supposedly in talks with Mark Cuban for a TV Show on Mark's HD-Net network, one of his "goddesses leaves, but comes right back just eight and a half hours later, he premiered a web-cast called "Sheen's Korner" for 100,000 viewers, XM radio is testing out Tiger Blood Radio (that's 24 straight hours of everything Charlie Sheen), AND he might just join Sean Penn on a Haitian relief trip!
Let's start off with the talks with Mark, shall we? Cubes says that he and Charlie have been talking for at least a week, regarding some sort of show on Mark's HD-Net national network and that "It would be a great show. Can't really say anything beyond that at this point." If this is true, Charlie would also be joining Dan Rather in Cuban's cast of stars on his network, as he already has a show called, "Dan Rather Reports."
Onto Charlie's little "goddess" expose! Just eight and a half hours after tweeting "Rachel has left the building. Applications now being accepted" (of course hash-tagging it with "winner") sweet little Rachel decided to come back to Charlie's "Sober Valley Lodge." (A phrase he obviously dubbed himself.) Rachel, known as porn star "Bree Olson" didn't say why she left or why she even came back and Charlie's being mum on the situation as well…
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/03/charlie-sheen-loses-a-goddess
The "Sheen's Korner" web-cast debuted Saturday night and was viewed by 100,000 people! He showed off his new tattoo—"winning" inked onto the inside of his left wrist and told his five kiddos that "Daddy loves you." There were mixed reviews about it and a lot of people said it was a pretty lame, shoddy job. Charlie even tweeted in regards to the web-cast: "Last night was treasonous to the movement. My bad. A video solution coming soon." He also called it a "maiden madcap experiment" and hasn't yet said if there will be a follow up…
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/03/video-charlie-sheens-premiere-webcast-viewed-100000
BUT!! Fear not! Because if Charlie doesn't do his web-cast again, you may get a chance to experience Tiger Blood Radio ALL the time for yourself! Sirius XM radio experimented, in all seriousness, Tiger Blood Radio on Saturday. It features interviews with many of the porn stars who've been through Sheen's revolving door, breaking news on his life and a look at all of the media frenzy surrounding the insanity of his life. And as the saying goes, if it's a hit, they'll stick with it!
http://www.radaronline.com/exclusives/2011/03/charlie-sheen-radio-winner
Yes, you did read correctly a few stories above: Charlie Sheen may join Sean Penn on a Haitian relief trip! Charlie told "Access Hollywood" that he plans to travel to Haiti with Sean and Sean said this in response: "I think his energies, intelligence and passion could be both of service and servicing to him, as it is to all who are touched by the struggle of the Haitian people. Charlie is one of the very few public people who cannot be accused of using the media to his own benefit." Charlie said that he's excited to do it because if he can bring attention of the world to Haiti then "clearly this tsunami keeps cresting." Did he mean winning?
The Mariners' Milton Bradley has been called a NUMBER of things in his baseball career but now you can add "abuser" to the list! According to court documents, his wife, Monique, requested a restraining order after he allegedly bloodied her head with a glass he threw at her on New Year's Eve and she claims that he also threatened to kill himself! She said that as soon as he realized he had caused her to bleed, he started bawling and begged her to forgive him and that he would kill himself if she left him. FYI: this was the same guy who was arrested on a felony charge for making criminal threats against his wife…
http://www.terezowens.com/milton-bradley-abused-wife-and-threatened-suicide/
Please send your heartfelt condolences to Phillies relief pitcher J.C. Romero, as his $190,000 2011 Porsche Panamera has been stolen! It was getting serviced at a Porsche dealership in the Bay area, where he's been with the team for spring training.
http://www.terezowens.com/phillies-pitcher-j-c-romero-porsche-panamera-stolen/
Pete Rose is FINALLY getting divorced! After 27 years of marriage to his wife Carol, he's ending things, citing irreconcilable differences and he's willing to even pay spousal support, but doesn't specify an amount. He also lists the date of separation as "TBD" which is interesting because I'm sure this has NOTHING to do with the fact that he's been dating a hot Playboy model named Kiana Kim since 2009! Here's your gross factor thought for the day: Pete even brought Kiana on the Howard Stern Show last year to brag about their sex lives. You're welcome.
http://www.tmz.com/2011/03/04/pete-rose-divorce-carol-rose-marriage-wedding/
Actor David Arquette was involved in a head on collision over the weekend and he was literally lying on the side of the road at one point! His silver Cadillac had severe front end damage and David suffered minor head injuries. He managed to tweet from his hospital bed though, saying "Luckily, I have dragon's blood running through my veins." I guess he's giving Charlie's "tiger blood" a run for its money!
Apparently, if you're a priest who decides to get wasted and gets busted by the cops, the first thing you should do is offer yourself up as a sex slave to the cop that pulls you over! Such is in case of the VERY Reverend (and I mean VERY) Canon Ignatius J. Kury. He was found lying down in the back seat of his ride, on the side of the road, completely hammered (we're talking, he blew THREE times the legal limit.) Anyway, he was taken into custody and while he was in his holding cell, he exposed himself to one of the cops and he's actually heard on surveillance video saying, "I'll give you a sermon on the mount." (I swear I couldn't have scripted that ANY better if I tried to!) His rant lasted over 20 minutes during which he threatened and propositioned officers saying, "I'll pay you whatever you want. What do you want? Do you want me to give you a (expletive) Is that what you want? Do you want me to be a sexual slave?" Oh Father, who art in Heaven… click below if you wanna check out our Brother in Christ's brilliant little meltdown
A DUI suspect in Kentucky said, "Yeah, I may have been driving off of the road and weaving in and out of traffic but blame it on the beejie I was getting!" Well, maybe that wasn't his VERBATIM quote and I may or may not be paraphrasing, but he blamed his DUI accusations on the fact that his erratic driving was being caused by the services he was getting from his girlfriend at the time…Good one.
http://deadspin.com/#!5775703/dui-suspect-blames-oral-sex-for-erratic-driving
And on to other hard hitting news of the world, a man was arrested at a Wal-Mart for shoving a rotisserie chicken down his pants! Yes, a FULL rotisserie chicken! Now, don't go judging him because along with the chicken, he also managed to shove chicken wings, a mouth guard, and two toothbrushes all down his pants along with it. Can't a guy just do a little misdemeanor shoplifting and not be looked down upon??
http://www.macon.com/2011/03/02/1471694/police-say-man-concealed-chicken.html
Finally, I have no idea why this was trending again over the weekend; maybe because "tiger" everything is all the rage now, thanks to Charlie Sheen. Anyway, the "Tiger Text" phone app was making the Yahoo! trending rounds. In case you're unfamiliar with it, it's basically an iPhone app that lets users delete their text messages from other people's phones over the official Tiger Text server, so it can't be retrieved and you can even set the option to have the text immediately delete within 60 seconds of a recipient opening it so you don't have to put "please delete after reading." The company behind it says that the chose the name Tiger Text because it refers to actual tigers, which are stealth and can travel under the radar, as is the point of the app. What's even MORE clever is that the company tries to make it sound like it would be used for wholesome purposes and NOT scandalous cheating by touting in its app store description the examples of "sensitive text messages" you'd want to keep secret being things like: "Hey, how'd the job interview go" or "Did you cave and get her the Tiffany ring." THAT'S classic when the product's tagline is "Cover your tracks," as well as the blatant Tiger reference in the name. Yep, doesn't make me think of a Tiger Woods connection WHATSOEVER…
http://www.appscout.com/2010/03/tiger_text_app_lets_you_remote.php and http://www.tigertextapp.com/a-new-messaging-service-aims-to-keep-your-secrets-safe/
And THAT'S my "Jock Itch!"
J
