7 Reasons To Hate Toronto…or Maybe Dislike Them Some
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ARLINGTON (105.3 The Fan) - Look, Canada might be the hardest place in the world to hate. They are super nice people, they are pretty artistic and have uniquely liberal mindset about things. For at least a week, I'm going to put all of that aside and focus all of my energy on hating Torontons, Torontonians, Torontites…whatever they go by and all they stand for.
With Game 1 of the ALDS between the Blue Jays and the Rangers, I hope all Rangers fans can ban together in order to show them how much we dislike them (hate is really a strong word for such nice people).
With that I present to you 7 Reasons To Hate Toronto… or Maybe Dislike Them Some. I use 7 reasons in honor of the man who has been a spark plug of run production for the Rangers, Delino DeShields.
1. There are a ton of people predicting the Blue Jays to come out of the West. And don't get me wrong, they have the talent. They have a ton of it, power bats, power pitching, I get it. Troy Tulowitzki, Josh Donaldson, Edwin Encarnacion, Jose Bautista…yes the bats just keep coming in this lineup. Estrada, Buehrle, Dickey and Price…starters who can all go the distance and shut down anybody. So with the world picking "The Best Team in Baseball," I like the role of being the underdog. I like the Rangers having a chip on their shoulder, knowing they belong in this playoff series and have the ability to beat this team. They had a test run earlier in the season and lost two of three, one they should have won. I think the Rangers are a different team now.
2. There are two T's in Toronto. However, they only pronounce one of the T's. They pronounce it Torrono. What's the point of putting letters in a word if you aren't going to pronounce them?
3. You know what I like about the Rangers? Every letter is pronounced. T-E-X-A-S. AND it's the name of the freaking state! Speaking of that, Canada doesn't even have states they have a provinces.
4. Toronto was in back-to-back world series and won both. Yeah, Joe Carter's game winner was the second World Series he won. It's true the Blue Jays hadn't made the playoffs or won their division since the 93 season, but the Rangers still don't have ONE! They have their World Series wins though, move out of the way we're on a mission.
5. You pay in American and they give you Canadian money. My co-host Kevin Hageland went to Canada and was trying to pay for a moose or something and when he gave them American money, they gave him Canadian doubloons or whatever you call them, in return. And the value of Canada money was ridiculous. How are you supposed to know how to convert their money? In Mexico when I throw my money at the bartender they always give me a buy 1 get 1 free margarita. In Canada... Molson.
6. This straight from the mouth of Colby Sapp: "Because they all have mafia names and when I think of Toronto I don't think mafia. Too-Low, Joey Bats. How scared are you of the Canadian Mafia…yeah that's what I thought."
7. The most exciting day in Canada is Victoria Day. The last Monday before May 25 is the day they celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday. Here's the thing, A) May 24th was actually her birthday but they moved it for some reason only known to Canada. B) She was the QUEEN OF ENGLAND!!!! C) She never even visited the freaking country! NEVER!
They are the enemy. Look. For at least three games, maybe five, they are the enemy and that is the only thing that matters. When we are done with the series we can share mutual respect or whatever, but right now I don't like you because you don't wear my team's jersey. I hope all Rangers fans make The Globe a ridiculously difficult place to play and finally give this Rangers club a home field advantage because Toronto is the enemy.
Cory Mageors is the co-host of The K&C Masterpiece on 105.3 The Fan. Follow him @inthemageors and follow the show @kandc1053
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