YouTube Parody Video Is Final Hope For Pair Unable To Find SF Housing
SAN FRANCISCO (KCBS) -- Faced with square footages in the triple digits with rents approaching five digits, a pair of health care consultants grabbed a banjo, a video camera and some kitschy lyrics and uploaded the result YouTube to lament and possibly land a sweet new pad.
Chris Severn says he and his friend are locals who just couldn't find a reasonable place in the city. The duo work in health care office jobs by day, and moonlight doing sketch comedy.
"I had just gone through laughably hard time looking for apartments around the New Year," Severn told KCBS. "I visited a studio in the back of an insurance office... I seriously considered a pantry. At my low, Reese and Sean were fiddling with a guitar and banjo and helped me put music to my woes."
(Warning: A few expletives.)
The duo's first finished music video project is picking up a lot of momentum.
"We've gotten some pats on the back at the coffee pot," Severn said modestly. "On the Internet, it looks like some people have shared it to bring attention to the real SF housing shortage. A lot of people can relate to this process and the stress it causes."
They hoped to expose the problem and maybe brighten the day of other domicile-challenged individuals who might watch it on their iPhone while commuting in from Stockton since people can't afford a place in San Francisco.
But what he would REALLY like?
"Ideally, I'd love to hear from a landlord with a $700/month studio somewhere around Divis and Jackson, bay view preferred," Severn said.
That might happen if he can add a zero.
Read the complete lyrics below video.
A Place in the City – Lyrics
DeskFan Comedy
Open up Craigslist lookin' for some places.
Send em resumes and pics of our faces.
Grab a bottle a wine and a basket of gouda.
All the ladies looking at me while I ride the N Judah.
So we show up at this place and I'm loving the decor
But there's a neighborhood of mold, block party on the door
I say oh no Mr. Landlord, what befalleth this wall?
Is it modern art, or pesto, or asbestos after all?
He says hey ninny ninny this mold is city approved
and the critters in the wall are your own private zoo.
If your roommate is a gnome, he has a walk-in closet.
Here's a free suitcase for your security deposit.
Oh what's this? A lead in the Mission?
Two beds, one bath and an itty bitty kitchen?
Gotta slap on my 'stache and my supes itchy flannel,
bring more mugs of coffee than my fixie can handle.
Wool tie, sick beats, intellectual demeanor,
say mmmhmm and ohh and this world should be cleaner,
when, "Ooh hey woah, in walk some jabrones!"
Startups on their jackets and apps on their phones,
Hi, I'm Matt, I built the internet.
Here's a wad of cash, we should be all set.
Said "Yo! Back up!" and I drop my mugs,
And I start a slap battle with these wireless thugs.
Chorus
Why is it so it so hard to find a place in the City?
I have a job and a car and my credit score ain't sh***y.
Why is it so tough to find a place in this town?
Where I can put my body and my bed and lay down?
'Cause hunting ain't easy for two normal guys,
with boring normal faces leading boring normal lives.
Why is it so it so hard to find a place in the City?
References on references you'd think that I'd have mastered this.
You think that I'd have filled out my checkbook with much more confidence,
faxing over socials, chilling with those locals,
meeting up at Bi-Rite with some friendly Craigslist girls who
said they had a cousin Suzy, she's a floozy, but she knew these
two guys who be movin' out of their place soon they talking 'bout
replacin' them with two new friends but need another in September
one of them is taking a month off or so you want it though?
"Cause we got like another appointment in 15 minutes"
(shrug)
Open up my front door to a narrow hallway
Struggling with furniture around my doorway
Stocking up on quarters cause there ain't no laundry
Only two bedrooms gonna split it four ways
Is that a closet? (that's a bedroom!)
Is that a kitchen? (that's a bedroom!)
Put a bedroom in my bedroom put a sublet in the bathroom.
Is that a foyer? (that's a bedroom!)
Is that a toaster? (that's a toaster) That is a toaster…
Chillin' at our housewarming in our new pad
You can bring a friend along girl but please no more than that
Cause we low on space like Elon and we trying to conserve,
if you need a place to crash we put a pillow on the curb.
Poppin' bottles with postgrads 'cause they ain't got no class
shakin that tech bubble bubble butt,
puttin' seed rounds in my pants,
touring homies through my home easily picking up swag,
see here's the front here's the middle and…here is the back!
"This place is pretty tight…"
"You said it!" ("I second that!")
But meanwhile I be paying rent like I am hemorrhaging cash.
No eating out I'm heating up two packs of ramen.
The heater's out I'm wrapping up like Tutankhamen.
"This market's about to crash…"
"B***h you ain't Nostradamus!"
Ain't movin' out I'm moving up yeah that's a bleepin' promise
Chorus
Why is it so it so hard to find a place in the City?
I have a job and a car and my credit score ain't sh***y.
Why is it so tough to find a place in this town?
Where I can put my body and my bed and lay down?
'Cause hunting ain't easy for two normal guys,
with boring normal faces leading boring normal lives.
Why is it so it so hard to find a place in the City?
(Copyright By DeskFan Comedy, USED WITH PERMISSION)
