5 Sports Guarantees That Went Horribly Wrong
Bryan Altman, CBS Local Sports
The truth of the matter when it comes to making crazy predictions is that you have a ton to gain if you're right and really not much to lose if you're wrong. Think of every obnoxious fan you've ever seen at a football game "calling" an interception or a fumble on the next play on every, freaking, play on the off chance that they're right one time out of 100. When they're wrong, nobody bats an eye. But when they're right, we yell and high five and praise them like they're football's version of Nostradamus.
Now Klay Thompson of the Golden State Warriors has joined the ranks of those bold enough to guarantee a victory. So which list will he end up on? The one that features greats such as Messier, Namath, Ruth and Ali - guys who called their shots correctly? Or, will he end up on the following list, which, hey, at least he's on a list.
1. Matt Hasselbeck - "We want the ball and we're gonna score."
Hasselbeck makes it at number one because his offense was just so egregious, so... public, and it ended so unfathomably badly and so quickly. Plus, it's rare in a team sport that you can actually blame one individual for a loss, but on this particular play, Hasselbeck is definitely the only real responsible party.
2. Tracy McGrady - "It feels good to finally get into the second round."
After the Magic went up 3-1 on the No. 1 seed Detroit Pistons McGrady made the infamous statement assuring that the Pistons wouldn't mount a comeback and that his team had all but secured a second-round berth. Well, we all know what happened next. More amazingly than the fact that the Magic blew the series is that in games five, six and seven McGrady and the Magic didn't come within 15 points of beating the Pistons. They were outscored by 61 points over the final three games of the series and were sent home from the NBA playoffs with their tail between their legs.
3. Anthony Smith - "We're number one across the board. Yeah, we're gonna win."
There's nothing worse than putting a target on your own back, especially when you aren't a well-known player in the NFL, but that's exactly what the Pittsburgh Steelers' Anthony Smith did when he guaranteed victory over the undefeated New England Patriots. Not only did the Steelers get crushed by the Pats 34-13, but Smith was burned for two touchdowns by Brady and co. during the game. So for those keeping track at home, that's undefeated teams two, unknown players zero.
4. Dan Gilbert - "I PERSONALLY GUARANTEE THAT THE CLEVELAND CAVALIERS WILL WIN AN NBA TITLE BEFORE THE SELF-TITLED FORMER 'KING' WINS ONE."
My favorite thing is the fact that this part of the letter is in all caps. You can totally picture Dan Gilbert yelling this aloud from a balcony somewhere in the pouring rain, then running back inside to sob into a pillow. All caps aside and onto the statement itself - talk about your all-time backfires. Gilbert felt spurned by James, he was angry at the world, which is completely understandable. What isn't understandable is how someone who owns an NBA franchise could look at his roster, then look at the Miami Heat's, and actually think they could make it to the playoffs, let alone win an NBA championship before LeBron and his new team. I'll have some of whatever Gilbert was having though.
5. Joe Glenn - "Find the crow and I'll eat it."
Normally when you guarantee victory over an opponent, your team, you know, actually does something back that claim up. In the case of the Wyoming football team, they didn't do their coach any favors. The Wyoming Cowboys lost 50-0 to the Utah Utes and were down 40-0 at halftime. That's right, 40-0. To make matters even worse, or, more hilarious in this case, the Utes, who were clearly pissed off about Glenn's guarantee, decided to try for an onside kick up 43-0 in the third quarter. Obviously coach Glenn was none too pleased and he made that perfectly clear with a quick flip of his middle finger to the Utah sideline after the play. Needless to say, Glenn might leave the prognosticating to someone else next time.
(This article was originally published on 3/27/2015 and has been edited to reflect current events)
Bryan Altman is, for some reason, an unabashed fan of the Rangers, Jets and Mets. If he absolutely had to pick a basketball team it would be the Knicks, but he’d gladly trade them for just one championship for either of his other three teams.
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