Worst sick day excuses

Each year, CareerBuilder surveys employers, compiling the most absurd reasons employees have given for calling in sick. Here are some of the best from the past three years.

And a word to the wise: Your boss won’t buy most of these.

For instance, one employee said she was going to the beach because her doctor said she needed more vitamin D.

It was a sign

The employee said the universe was telling him to take a day off.

Understandable

The employee said she suffered traumatic stress from a large spider found in her home. She had to stay home to deal with the spider.

A mixup

The employee said they became deathly ill by eating cat food instead of tuna. 

Sneaky cat

The employee cat’s was stuck inside the dashboard of her car.

Animal attack

The employee was bitten by a duck.

Couldn't go commando

The employee said all of his underwear was still in the washing machine.

Accidentally?

The employee accidentally boarded a plane.

Priorities

An employee’s roots were showing, so she had to keep a hair appointment.

Harmful ham?

The employee claimed his grandmother poisoned him with ham.

Trashed, but not like that

The employee said his wife found out he was cheating, and he had to spend the day digging his belongings out of a dumpster.

Sugar coma

The employee ate too much birthday cake.

Lucky streak

An employee had been at a casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.

Global warming

The employee said the ozone in the air flattened his tires.

We've all been there

While the employee wasn’t sick, she said her llama was.

Solemn duty

The employee said he had to be the pallbearer at the funeral of his wife’s cousin’s pet.

Bigger concerns

The employee said police had raided his home and blocked him in. 

"Enhancement purposes"

The employee’s elective plastic surgery needed some “tweaking.”

At least he was honest

The employee said he had better things to do.

Strike ... one

The employee said he was bowling the game of his life and couldn’t get to work.

Poor timing?

The employee had just put a casserole in the oven.

That's scared, not scarred

A pressure cooker exploded and scared the employee’s sister, so she had to stay home.

You can't make this stuff up

The employee broke his arm reaching to grab a falling sandwich.

The perfectionist

The employee said the meal he cooked for a department potluck didn’t turn out well.

Ouch

The employee said using hair remover under her arms gave her chemical burns.

And some other gems ...

An employee’s uniform caught on fire after it was put in the microwave to dry.

An employee poked herself in the eye while combing her hair.

An employee got stuck under a bed.

An employee had to testify against a drug dealer ... and then the dealer’s friend mugged him.

An employee was sitting in the bathroom and her feet and legs fell asleep. When she stood up she fell and broke her ankle.

An employee woke up in a good mood and didn’t want to ruin it.

An employee had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where he was.

An employee got stuck in a blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn’t get out.

An employee had a gallstone and wanted to heal it holistically.