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Stress and anxiety are common for kids going back to school, doctors say. Here are tips parents can use to help.

Anxiety can set it for students when it's time to return to school
Anxiety can set it for students when it's time to return to school 02:27

NEW YORK -- CBS News New York's Back to School series continues with a focus on mental health.

Returning to school can come with mixed emotions for some students. Stella Costakis is looking forward to 11th grade at the Academy of American Studies, but shared recently that she's also a bit stressed because it's a big year.

"Preparing for college and taking more AP classes," Costakis said.

In preparation, she is getting back in a routine. She's waking up early, eating breakfast, and limiting time on her phone.

"Too much screen time can be really distracting, especially during the school year," Costakis said. "Find things to fill that time instead. Makes it a lot easier, like exercising, sports."

"Talk, talk, talk"

Who better to help than her mom, Staten Island University Hospital Dr. Anna Costakis, who also shared suggestions for fellow parents.

"Having a bit of dress rehearsals leading up to school, sort of implementing that structure and routine," Dr. Costakis said.

She said there are ways for parents to help their children balance excitement and anxiety.

"Talk, talk, talk, right? Find the space where your kids will open up. For one of my kids, it's the car," Dr. Costakis said. "Go for an ice cream. Go for a walk. But start to open up those conversations."

Come up with a "Cope Ahead Plan"

Both doctors that spoke with CBS News New York stressed the importance of communication. Not just talking, but also listening to your child.

"Try to better understand where that anxiety is coming from," said Dr. Saniya Tabani, a psychologist at Mount Sinai Hospital.

Tabani recommends coming up with a "Cope Ahead Plan," a step-by-step way to help students navigate back to school anxiety:

  • Identify the situation that is likely to bring on anxiety; identify the related thoughts, emotions, and/or physiological symptoms.
  • Check the facts. Do the facts fit the emotions? Are the worry thoughts due to overestimating the likelihood of something happening (e.g., "Nobody is going to like me or want to be my friend,") worst-case scenario thinking, or other irrational beliefs?
  • Imagine the situation mentally as vividly as possible. Imagine yourself as in the situation and using your coping strategies.
  • Rehearse coping effectively. This can include rehearsing or role-playing (with family members or friends) coping (e.g., initiating small talk, raising your hand in class, introducing yourself to someone new). Include rehearsing coping with different problems, including the most feared situation.
  • Practice relaxation training skills such as breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation.

"Part of that cope ahead plan could be identifying what the issues is, understanding the emotion underlying it, and then thinking of more actionable coping strategies," Tabani said. "So if your child is feeling nervous about not being able to make friends, then perhaps rehearsing or doing a role play of initiating small talk with kids in class."

If your child is nervous about being in the classroom, Tabani recommends visiting the school before the first day. If they're a first timer heading to kindergarten, experts suggest allowing them to bring a piece of home, like a teddy bear, for comfort.

They are all little steps that may make a big difference.

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