Help is available for New Yorkers caring for loved ones whose health is declining

NEW YORK -- Families who find themselves in need of a caregiver for a loved one can find themselves confronting difficult questions: Where do you start? What if they don't qualify for Medicaid? How do you juggle it all emotionally and physically?

One place New Yorkers can get some help is Presbyterian Senior Services, or PSS. The nonprofit has recreational centers across the five boroughs, and helps caregivers support their loved ones. 

Help is available for New Yorkers in need

Jailene Irizarry is a care consultant for PSS's Circle of Care program, which provides temporary home health aides, and more. 

"Help with the purchase of wipes. It can be pull-ups, assistance devices like a walker, or a cane, or a shower chair that just helps living for the care receiver a little easier," Irizarry said. 

The only requirement is the person being cared for has to struggle with two or more daily activities. 

"If they struggle with ambulating, walking, or completing daily tasks like shopping, cooking their own meals," Irizarry said. "Clients do not need to provide us with information of their insurance just to access these services, but we can assist them in exploring their long-term options if Medicare or Medicaid was not ideal for them." 

Care consultants say the first step, which can be the hardest, is having the tough conversation with your loved one about accepting the help. Many don't want to feel dependent. 

"It can be a very uncomfortable conversation to have. Sometimes caregivers feel comfortable having a mediator in the room, or probably going to their doctor and having another person reiterate their concerns," Irizarry said. 

Caregiving takes an emotional and financial toll

Renee Simmons, 59, has been a caregiver to her parents for decades. Her father, James, struggled with Parkinson's disease and dementia before he died. 

"It was difficult to watch, because Parkinson's is one thing and dementia is another, and when they come together that is, like, a storm like you cannot even imagine. Just to watch someone as independent as my dad deteriorate right in front of my eyes," Simmons said. 

Her mother Margaret, 91, has her own health challenges, including glaucoma, arthritis and other age-related ailments. 

"I'm her caregiver, advocate, secretary, daughter, you name it," Simmons said. "I feel like the roles have completely reversed at this point. I am the one that has to push her, and it's not easy because she's always been mom. Now I feeling like I kind of have to be daughter and mom."

Simmons said her mother worked many jobs throughout her life, including in the medical field. She has a pension, so she doesn't qualify for Medicaid, which means the family has to pay out of pocket for many services and supplies. 

"The family and I, we pay for someone to come a couple days a week because now she needs more care than she's used to," Simmons said. "It's hard to hear. It's hard to say. It's hard to bare every day." 

"Utilize anything you can" 

Under Simmons' mother's insurance plan, she has access to Uber and Lyft services for free.   

"Utilize anything that you can... . Check into your insurance company and see what they can offer," Simmons said.

Simmons urges caregivers to remember to take care of themselves while caring for others. 

"Always find that space for yourself, no matter how much is going on. I'm big on morning walks at 6 a.m. in the park, meditation," Simmons said. "Just things to help breathe and bring myself back, that vitality that you lose because you're doing so much."

Simmons says her family wants to see more being done for New Yorkers who are in the final chapter of their lives. 

"I'd just love to see the city get more involved in the overall, when it comes to people who are aging. Those are our ancestors. Those are the ones who took care of us. Those are the ones who paved the way for us. The least you could do is look at them and give them their flowers," Simmons said. 

In Part 3 of our series, we take a closer look at navigating the system, free services, and assistance New York City provides.