Vague Expressions

I have just received an instruction from management. It informed me that I was to wear my pass in a prominent position, and then added that I was to cascade this information as best I could.

Well I will. I am an obedient employee. But what on earth does it mean?

I asked a manager. Well, he said, and patted me in an encouraging patronizing kind of way. It means let's run that idea up a flagpole and see who salutes it. He sighed at my evident lack of comprehension. To put it another way, he said, it's just an announcement I have decanted to staff. So let's throw it in the lake and see how the ripples spread.

What I should have said in response of course is .... got it boss ... let's put it in the toaster and see what pops up. But my problem, and perhaps your problem, is that I just have not learned the language ... of management speak. That data is absent from my skill set.

You may already comprehend the language ... or should I say, you are already singing from the same hymn sheet. I am assured by those who know that management in America was trying to out drive the headlights and push the envelope well before we in this country had our own thought showers and achieved blue sky thinking. Oh yes.

But in case you don't understand, let me enlighten you, let us enjoy what they call here an open the kimono moment. Let us work on this problem together, or perhaps I should say, let's augment the team in order to disseminate group activities. Let's all go snorkeling in the think tank. Let's get below the waterline of organizational visibility.

I hope you are following me. Together we will helicopter the idea around the room and see where it lands. You see our language is tired, we need to stir fry it in the creativity wok.

If there are problems with those who claim that English is already a perfectly useable language, why, let's just shoot the crocodile nearest the canoe, let's just keep the issue on our radar and keep the ducks in line. Let us if necessary imagineer a solution. You like the idea .

So time to leverage our synergies, to gather 360 degree feedback, to engage in a mutually beneficial partnership, and to reach out and touch base, to bottom the problem and carry it forward, to potentialize the steak and make it sizzle. I hope that's clear.
By Peter Allen