This Miracle Whip Thing Is Getting Out of Hand

Miracle Whip took out ads in newspapers today promising to buy a commercial in every single slot in tonight's The Colbert Report on Comedy Central after Stephen Colbert mocked the alt-mayo in a October segment.

BNET noted in August that Miracle Whip's advertising -- via agency McGarryBowen -- was too bizarre to be taken seriously. For months, the ads have been urging, "Don't be ordinary, boring or bland ... We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down!" to a grungy beat.

It's not clear whether Miracle Whip intended its ads to be satirical or whether it has belatedly realized that the brand was being roundly mocked all over the internet. (Sample YouTube commenter: "This commercial is so edgy and totally in my face. I feel like killing myself now for my past mayo tendencies. Rock on, Miracle Whip. Rock the fuck on."

MW's ad (click to enlarge) says:

Mr. Colbert, we found your attacks a little harsh, occasionally funny, and at times wholly inaccurate (for the record, our target is 18-35, not 34). But unlike most advertisers who are so mayo, who would back down at the slightest whiff of controversy, and pull their advertising from not just your show but from your network and all its sister entities -- we intend to do the opposite.

With every commercial break your viewers will be exposed to hardcore Miracle Whip attitude and revelry. You will see our legion of (as you call them) 'mayonay-sayers' snarfing sandwiches ... They will be in your face and massively dope ... Think about it, Mr. Colbert, in a sense we will own you.

• Related: Miracle Whip's "We Will Not Tone It Down!" Ads Trigger Scorn From Viewers