Taking The Stress Out Of Holidays

While it may sound contradictory, getting set for, then enjoying the holidays is actually stressful for many of us.

What can we do to manage holiday-related stress?

Psychologist Elizabeth Carll, who specializes in treating stress and trauma, has some advice on recognizing and coping with holiday stress and its causes.

She tells The Early Show co-anchor Rene Syler there are strategies that will help. Once you figure out where the problem areas are, you can begin to address them.

What causes holiday stress? Time, money, energy and expectations.

You can feel a lot of stress from unrealistic expectations of the holiday season, on top of a hectic schedule and the stress of spending a lot of extra money on gifts and travel, Carll observes. It's easy to become sad and stressed if your family isn't like the ones in Hallmark cards. When the fantasy of the holidays we see on TV and in magazines collides with reality, it can cause emotional problems.

During the holidays, the expectation is that problems will disappear, but in reality they remain the same; the problems of life don't just vanish, Carll points out. Everything this time of year becomes heightened and magnified. When you are under stress, you take things more personally. Any situation that takes away the ability to enjoy personal time leads to added stress, especially over the holidays, when the expectation is that everyone should be relaxing and having fun.

Women, especially, are under a lot of stress during the holidays with all the extra calls, shopping, social plans and dinners. It can be much harder to reduce stress when all of these elements come in to play at once.

So, how can we cope?

Prioritize activities. People often try to fit too much into their schedule during the holidays. Don't include too many events into too little time. That might mean turning down invitations. Don't take on more than you can handle. All the gift-buying, cooking, baking, visiting and planning that goes into a holiday season amounts to a lot of work. Delegate tasks to other family members. Chores like baking, shopping, and picking up relatives for Christmas dinner are easier if shared.

Budget time for yourself. Maintain exercise routines and time out to keep mentally fresh. Life isn't a steady stream of holiday parties with a splash of reality. Plan social engagements ahead of time. Schedule time out, whether it's a walk, the gym, reading, music, downtime or exercise. If you try to eat healthy food, that can reduce stress, too. Try to find someone to talk to, spend time with a good friend, or plan a simple vacation after the holidays.

Limit spending. The crunch of last-minute shopping for that perfect gift can result in spending overload. Love is not how much we spend on a gift. Large and overdue credit card bills will surely create post-holiday stress.

Avoid confrontation. Don't choose the holidays as a time to confront interpersonal issues with your family members. Sometimes people expect the setting of a cozy family gathering to smooth over a lot of relationship issues, but the regular stress of life doesn't go away during the holiday season. Coping with loss can also make the holidays a difficult time. Those who are coping with the loss of a loved one during the holidays may not feel in a festive mood, and may choose not to attend a get-together. It's important to respect individual needs and not take things personally.

When should we seek professional help? Anxiety, lack of sleep or overeating a little more than usual are fairly normal behavior changes and reactions to stress. But if it lasts for more than a couple of weeks or it gets worse than that, such as a feeling of perpetual sadness or a feeling of hopelessness or helplessness, it might indicate serious depression. In that case, you really do need to talk to someone about it because there are great treatments now.