Sleeping With The Enemy?

The Laci Peterson case sent shockwaves throughout the country.

One minute the Petersons are a happy couple expecting their first child. The next minute, Laci is dead and her husband Scott is accused of her murder.

Can this happen to you?

On The Early Show, Psychologist Robin Smith said certain behaviors should raise red flags with women. These indicate that their relationships may be in trouble and they could be victims of abuse.

"Often what women will do is they'll have a little feeling that they just push away," says Smith. "They think, 'Oh, it's in my head,' or, 'You know, I'm just being paranoid.' But a lot of times that little voice gets louder and louder."

She says women must trust their instinct and listen to those doubts when they first arise.

Some of the warning signs women should observe in a relationship are:

• Possessiveness: This is someone who wants you to be the center of their world and wants to be the center of your world. It may seem flattering at first, but it can lead to trouble, according to Smith.

  "They want to control you. They want to dominate what you're doing, what you're thinking, and women can get themselves in big trouble by thinking, 'This guy is really into me,'" says Smith. "Where it's really not that he's into you. It's that he's into controlling you."

• Jealousy: Smith says this is different from possessiveness because jealousy involves an element of competitiveness. A clear sign your partner may be jealous is when he accuses you of flirting with the waiter when you go out to eat and all you did was be polite and smile, she says. Another example is when a man accuses you of being happier when you're with the kids than with him.
• Controlling: Smith says this is when a person wants to monitor all your words and actions. It's someone who wants to handle all the finances, decide whether or not you should work outside the home, how many kids you should have, who you can and can't be friends with, and what you can do with your friends. This person takes away your voice and becomes your voice.
• Isolation: Spouses may try to separate you from the community so that they can isolate and dominate you, says Smith.

  "With isolation, I always say it's divide and conquer," she says. "You know, that person divides you from those people who are close, who would look out for you, and then conquer."

  A clear sign is someone who prevents you from seeing your family or friends or from participating in a social activity that doesn't involve them, according to Smith. They don't want you having a good time without them.

• Overly Needy and Insecure: Smith says to be wary of a spouse who is overly needy or dependent on you for everything. This type demands your constant attention and reassurance.

  "You've got to reassure them all the time and they ask questions like: 'Do you love me? How much do you love me? Prove your love to me,'" she says. Sometimes women can mistake those concerns for love.

• Constant Lying and Hiding: Spouses who constantly lie are dangerous, says Smith. If someone is consistently lying about little things that don't matter, then it is probably likely that they are lying about larger issues as well. Some spouses are so used to making lies up that they do it about everything, and they aren't even aware of it, according to Smith.

For those who suspect their spouses of living double lives, Smith says, there are some warning signs to be aware of. She lists some of the signals that a spouse is cheating as:

• Sudden Change in Behavior: Smith says to be on the lookout for sudden changes in behavior, such as a spouse becomes more affectionate or exhibits changes in sexual appetite changes or sexual desire. As an affair continues, Smith says, a spouse may become more distant, cold and fault finding.
• Sudden Change in Grooming Habits: Smith says this means a partner who is paying more attention to himself than he used to.

  "They weren't really interested in working out at a gym, what kind of underwear they were wearing," she says. "And all of a sudden, this person is losing weight, they're dressing differently, they want to smell differently."

  Smith says to be on the lookout for a spouse's change in cologne and clothes, a switch from boxer shorts to bikini underwear, frequent bathing, more careful grooming and a sudden health consciousness.

• Daily Travel Pattern Changes: Smith says to look for unexplained increase in mileage on the car, higher gas use and unexplained increases in the amount of time spent commuting to and from work.
• Often Out of Reach: If it become hard to reach a spouse at the office or on the road and he starts coming home at unusual times, then, Smith says, suspicions should rise.
• Change in Spending Patterns: Smith says affairs cost money, so changes in spending habits should be a warning sign. She says observe any unexplained charges on credit cards, sudden increases in phone bills and unexplained withdrawals from family checking account.

"If you think that you can ignore something, and that it is not going to get worse, that is an absolute lie," warns Smith. "What we ignore usually gets bigger and worse and causes real problems."