'Sisters,' Revisited
Ten years ago, Carol Saline and Sharon Wohlmuth launched a literary genre with their best-selling book, "Sisters." It covered the gamut of emotions involved in that unique relationship, and it was filled with photographs.
Now, with more than a million copies already in print, there's a newly revised, 10th anniversary edition that features additional photographs and updated stories on 13 sets of sisters.
Why, The Early Show co-anchor Harry Smith wanted to know, did they decide to go back and do it again?
"Well, our publisher just suggested we do it and we thought, what a wonderful opportunity, another exploration into this incredible bond of sisters," said Wohlmuth.
"We were very curious," says Saline, "as I think a lot of our readers were, (about) what had happened to the women we'd interviewed 10 years ago and how their sister relationship had developed and changed. So when we went back, there were these very clear messages about how sisters develop over years."
"I learned," says Wohlmuth, "that I am so blessed to have a sister and that my interest in finding out about other women has helped me understand my relationship with my sister."
Saline says people "tell us how much they love the book and how much the book meant to them and how it spoke for the first time about what they felt were their sisters. So as Sharon said, you learned to feel so fortunate that you connected with so many women."
About the many photos, Wohlmuth says, "It's a real challenge. It's a real challenge. I'm a newspaper photographer, a photojournalist. I want these people to speak to me through my lens. I want them to tell me who they are as sisters. We talked to them. It's very important to listen, to observe, and you have to be quiet and you know what happens? They become sisters, and it's that one moment that we talk about, the decisive moment, so I want that decisive moment to be -- I want them to show me who they are as sisters."
Smith inquired about several sets of sisters featured in the update.
- Anna and Hannah Klales
"We decided we wanted to be present at the birth of a sister," Wohlmuth recalled, "a little girl seeing her sister being born. We couldn't exactly be at the birth, but we went back a few weeks later and I photographed (Anna and Hannah) and it was the most remarkable photograph and, again, 10 years later, went back again. And I wanted to put them in the same place, and I think (it) really does demonstrate what happens in 10 years.
- Melba Moore and her sister, Clementine
"They had been very, very close as little girls," Saline says. "In fact, they were half-sisters and didn't even tell us that when we made the arrangements for the interview (10 years ago). They hoped, when Clem moved to New York, she and Melba would hang out and do what sisters do. But Melba's career fell apart and she got divorced. They had more separation than they had had before. The important thing is that Clem isn't angry anymore that Melba doesn't have enough time for her. She now accepts it and knows that, when the times are bad and when they need each other or when (the times) are very good, they'll be together."
"I think this really does symbolizes with all of the sisters that there is this deepened appreciation of our -- of sisters," Wohlmuth interjected. "When life brings you all kinds of stuff that you are -- you say, 'I am so grateful that I have my sister, and I appreciate her so much.'"
- Nancy and Rhea Lemmerman
"Nancy and Rhea grew up in a small town," Saline explained, "and Rhea contracted polio when she was 20 and the man who was engaged to her left her life. And Nancy kinda spent her life, not taking care of her, because Rhea moved to Florida, started her own life, and was very independent. But there was always, with Nancy, this sense of, 'She is my sister, I'd better mold my life, not be too happy, not be too sad because, she's going to use me as her barometer.' So then, Rhea dies. And Nancy now, at her death, says that she feels this elation because suddenly, the burden of not being herself is removed."
But, notes Wohlmuth, Nancy still has Rhea's ashes in a box. "She can't let go. She still has them."
- Kristin and Laura Beck
"As teenagers," Saline observed, "they were typical teens and couldn't stand each other and their mother couldn't put them in the same room because they fought so much. Now, 10 years later, they're best friends because they realize the friends that were so important to them are gone. They can't even remember their names."
The book also includes celebrities, such as Erin, Kelly, and Christy Turlington.
The following excerpt from "Sisters 10th Anniversary Edition" appears here with the express permission of Running Press Book Publishers. Any other reproduction, in any form, of any portion, is prohibited, without the permission of Running Press Book PublishersINTRODUCTION
Thirteen years ago on an August afternoon at the beach, we hatched an idea for what we thought would be a wonderful book: a poignant collection of photographs and essays about sisters. We'd personally experienced the beloved bond that sisters share through our love for our own sisters, Beth and Patsy. Because we understood in our bones the intensity of this sister connection, we believed that, slowly, over time, a book exploring the many aspects of this relationship could build a large audience through word-of-mouth. To our surprise, we had a hard time finding anyone who agreed with our vision. With the exception of Running Press, nearly two dozen publishers contacted by our agent turned down our proposal. Although they praised it as a "charming" concept, they doubted that women would be motivated to buy a book that celebrated sisters. Were they ever wrong!
All authors harbor fantasies about the potential success of their books. Even in our wildest dreams, we could not have imagined the way women would take Sisters into their homes and their hearts. Immediately after its publication in the fall of 1994, the first printing flew out of the stores, to be followed by a dozen more. Eventually Sisters would sell well over a million copies and spend an unprecedented 63 weeks on The New York Times bestseller list. Nobody was more amazed or ecstatic than the two of us. Sisters not only exceeded our expectations, it expanded our world and changed our lives. We remain deeply grateful in every possible way for the overwhelming response to our work.
As we journeyed around the country signing books, and appearing on television and radio programs from Oprah to NPR, we saw how our book provided an outlet for all kinds of emotions that sisters had always felt but rarely expressed. We found ourselves becoming social anthropologists as the women we talked to in our travels and interviews helped us create a living archive of sister stories. Those, along with the flood of touching letters we received, validated the richness and complexity of this most primal female bond. It seemed our book took sisterhood from the shadowy world of female secrets and established its importance front and center as a central human value. Newsweek even credited us with "starting the trend on books about platonic female intimacy."
Of the many relationships in a woman's life, the mystical connection between sisters is unique. It stretches and bends through periods of closeness and distance, but it cannot be broken. In any language, be it schwester, sorella or soeur, the meaning of the word sister is universal: a sister is a forever friend. Sisters act as safety nets in a chaotic world simply by being there for each other. Sisterly ties have far fewer knots than those between mothers and daughters, and while brothers share a biological link, they're—well—just different. There just seems to be a special glue that bonds girls who grew up under the same roof and who share an intricate meshing of heart, soul and memories.
There are physical memories: Bathtub playtime, good-night kisses and snuggles, the development of girl to woman as young bodies grow and change, the petty jealousies over who got bigger breasts, slimmer hips, prettier hair, better skin. . . . There are social memories: boyfriends, the first kiss, battles over clothes, shopping sprees, school plays, ballet lessons, family outings. And there are priceless emotional memories: heartfelt advice, unquestioned loyalty, late-night phone marathons, family battles, holidays with grandparents, endless discussions of who got more attention and who felt rejected. Surely no one understands better than your sister exactly what you mean when you complain about your mother and father. This patchwork of funny, joyful, angry, painful and historic memories creates the foundation—solid or shaky—that supports every sister relationship.
Meeting thousands of women as we toured the country cemented something that we instinctively knew when we started: women love to talk about their sisters. We witnessed the light and love in their eyes as they finally had the opportunity to pay homage to the magic of this relationship. From those women who had the warmest and closest attachments to their sisters, we gleaned some common characteristics. They all had parents committed to having their daughters grow up as friends. These loving sisters consistently exhibited a high regard and respect for each other they recognized their relationship as something precious that was to be nurtured and never taken for granted. Regardless of where they lived, how much contact they had or whether there were disparities in lifestyle, income or achievement, in their hearts they felt like equals. Depending on which sister was in need, the other could become the caretaker or the caregiver. This ability to rely on a sister in a time of need—as well as to share good news and good times— was a cushion and a comfort that became even more significant as sisters aged. As Margaret Mead observed, "Sisters are probably the most competitive relationship within a family but once sisters are grown, it becomes the strongest."
We encountered some women who had the lifelong yearning for a sister and ruefully confided to us that even a best friend could not replace this missing genetic link. Certainly some of our saddest moments occurred when a woman would pour out her heart to us with a story of estrangement. Did we have any advice? Did we think that sending her sister the book along with a note might trigger a reconciliation? We still remember the woman who said she hoped the sister who wasn't speaking to her would see the tearstains in the right places. Over and over we witnessed the pain and disappointment of sisters who couldn't get beyond the emotional baggage they'd been lugging around since childhood. If sisters hadn't solved their sibling rivalry issues by their twenties, it seemed they were likely to wrestle with them the rest of their lives. Typically they felt exploited or depleted. Inevitably one of them was perceived as having too much of something—money, vanity, parental approval, selfishness—while the other felt cheated or resentful. As one well-coifed, fiftyish woman told us, "Nobody can love you more than a sister, but nobody can hurt you more either."
In publishing a decade is a very long shelf life for a book, and the fact that Sisters continues to evoke such a warm response from women is one of the reasons we decided to update the original with this very special edition. It gave us an opportunity to revisit twelve sets of sisters we hadn't seen for years and to explore the impact of life's passages on this primary relationship. In addition, here was a chance to reach a new audience of girls too young to have been aware of us the first time around.
To be honest, we were unprepared for how moving these reunions turned out to be. Each time the door opened and we embraced a sister who'd graced our book ten years ago, we were spiritually transported back to the intimacy of our earlier encounters. We spontaneously fell into ardent hugs as if greeting old, beloved friends. Little girls had grown into intelligent young women. Illness and age had etched its worry lines. Some sisters had died, leaving their survivors with bittersweet memories and the unquenchable loss of a piece of themselves. A few old conflicts had been resolved —or at the least, diffused. We were struck how in ten years everything had changed—while nothing had changed at all.We were particularly moved by how life's troubles as well as its blessings impacted relationships in unexpected ways. Except for the teenagers still wrestling with sibling issues, time and maturity had taken every set of sisters to a place of greater acknowledgement and affection. As life's experiences united sisters—whether to cope with crisis or to celebrate a milestone, whether to lean on or to laugh with—what we observed over and over was a deepening appreciation of their good fortune to have each other for sharing and support.
We welcome all of you to our tenth anniversary edition of Sisters. Some are new friends coming to our work for the first time; others are old friends returning for a second visit. Perhaps these photographs and stories will be a catalyst for you to reflect upon your own changing lives and the enduring bonds that sisters share. This book is our gift to all women blessed with sisters who have made the highs in life more meaningful and the lows more bearable. Thank you for making us part of your family.
— Carol Saline and Sharon J. Wohlmuth
February 2004Anna Margaret and Hannah Marie: The Klales Sisters
Once upon a time there was a six-year-old girl named Anna who looked just like a pre-Raphaelite principessa. Anna lived with her parents in a big house near the woods, and although she was happy drawing and coloring by herself, sometimes she was just a tiny bit lonely for a playmate. Then, one day, her mother had wonderful news. She was going to have a baby! "Well, it had better be a sister," said Anna. "If it's a boy, we'll give it away."
That night, alone in her room, she tried to imagine what it would be like to have a sister. She knew exactly what she wanted for the baby's name: Hannah. She'd chosen it because she could already spell it by adding an "H" to the beginning and end of her own name.
"Well, let's see," Anna said to herself as she lay in the dark. "As soon as Hannah comes home, I'll hold her and feed her and give her a bottle. Later on I'll teach her how to walk, and when she gets a little older, I'll give her my tricycle. And we'll play games like hide-and-seek, and I'll show her how to be good in school."We won't be just friends. We'll be sisters. Alike. Only one of us will be bigger than the other. Sometimes we'll fight but I'll give her one of my dollies and that's how we'll make up. We'll tell each other secrets, and Hannah will love me as big as the world."
Anna snuggled down in her canopy bed, her curls spread over the pillow, and fell asleep, dreaming about how she and Hannah would live happily ever after.
Several months later, Anna nestled alongside her mother, gingerly cradling her tiny, pink, hour-old sister in her arms.
"Am I dreaming, Momma?" she whispered. "See how her eyes are closed. She must be tired. I think we should keep her. She's too cute to give away."
Suddenly, Hannah began to cry. Anna, her little heart filled with the joy of having her very own baby sister, wept, too. And so began their lifelong journey of sharing each other's happiness and comforting each other's tears…
[10 years later]
It didn't take Anna very long to come to the conclusion that her real baby sister wasn't exactly who she'd envisioned. Hannah didn't turn out to be a doll she could dress up and play with, or a perfect angel who'd follow her around, absorbing the pearls of wisdom she'd drop willy-nilly into her lap. Nevertheless Anna wasn't at all disappointed. Quite the opposite. Although they have their spats, she doesn't want to change her sister the least little bit. The older they get, the less important the six years separating them becomes. Hannah is more creative, and Anna is more logical, but they enjoy the same kind of music—goofy songs like the ones Weird Al Yankovic sings and certain classical symphonies. They like to sit side-by-side drawing or playing word games and competing at ping-pong. In fact, they probably have more fun with each other than with just about anybody else.
Anna even discovered that Hannah could end up teaching her a thing or two, especially in the area of self-confidence. Anna is one of those kids who worries a lot about what people think of her. Back in middle school, when she got teased about her unruly curls, she'd come home crying. Hannah, on the other hand, couldn't care less about such nonsense and advised Anna to ignore the meanies. When a classmate told Hannah she was ugly, Anna saw the way she laughed off the insult. Who'd have thought that her younger sister would be the one to demonstrate the importance of accepting herself? Or that she'd cherish the times when the two of them break down into utter silliness, because that's when she can be completely natural—and Hannah doesn't care.
Now that Anna has grown into a slender, studious 16-year-old, she has a very different view of what she wants in a sister. Sure, it's fine to have a pal, but it's more important to have somebody you can depend on, who can make you feel better when you're upset. "I know if I ever needed anything, Hannah would help me get it," she says. "I can talk to her more easily than anyone else—although there are obviously things I wouldn't discuss until she gets older."
Hannah may only be ten, but she already appreciates that your sister is the one person besides your mom who you can totally trust. "If you have a friend at school, you can get mad at her and never be friends again," she says. "But a sister will always be your friend no matter what, even though she sometimes orders you around and hogs the Internet." Life without a sister would be boring. Who would be there to sing funny songs with or talk to or share jewelry and books with and the shirts that fit both of you? "With your sister, you can be yourself," Hannah says, "and she won't judge you. She'll like you however you are."
Just as Anna dreamed so long ago, she and her sister "love each other as big as the world." They plan always to be the best of friends, forever sharing the letters of their name and whatever else, good or bad, that life delivers.