Sick of swiping? Here's why single people are breaking up with dating apps.
Frustrated singles are breaking up with dating apps.
Last year Americans downloaded dating apps more than 36 million times, which is down 16% from 2020.
"The way people are using dating apps today and the speed of communication. It's swipe, swipe, swipe, onto the date. Getting ghosted, getting frustrated, being burned out. Wash, rinse and repeat," said dating coach Damona Hoffman, who is also the author of "F the Fairytale."
Hoffman said an increasing number of her clients are feeling what she calls "dating app burnout," which is stress and fatigue caused by endless swiping.
She said she sees too much "zombie dating." It's a term she came up with to describe the behavior she sees on dating apps. She defines it as mindless scrolling, searching for validation and not meaningful connection, and talking to too many people.
"A lot of these DMs and texts, they don't go anywhere. So that's really leading to the dating burnout because we get our hopes up. Our adrenaline goes up and then it's like withdrawal when the person doesn't materialize into a date."
Hoffman met her husband online and knows firsthand how frustrating it can be, but said the goal is for connection and users need to apply more empathy.
"We're feeling this sense of, I call it the communication crisis that we're in, and you feel it even if you're not dating. You feel this 'everybody's talking but we're not saying anything.'"
She suggests "dating hygiene," which is being strategic with your time, eliminating go-nowhere connections and taking stock of your profile on dating apps by tracking reactions and responses.
"Which of the dates and conversations are actually turning into something real, so that you're not putting all of this energy into connections that don't make you feel good first of all, or materialize into a relationship."
Hoffman, who also hosts a podcast called "Dates and Mates," advises speaking to the individual on the app for just one week before meeting in person.
"The whole goal of dating apps is to meet in person so what happens when you stay in the texting trap and you stay on the app too long, you develop a false sense of intimacy."
Hoffman said she wants to help people feel more in control of their dating destiny and as a professional who has helped people find love for almost 20 years both online and offline, she disagrees with the saying "you will find love when you least expect it."
"When people approach dating mindfully, strategically, they get results," she said. "They get to the relationship."
If you're sick of swiping, she suggests attending events, try speed dating, hire a matchmaker or engage in your community to make connections.
The CEO of Match Group, the company that owns Tinder, OkCupid, Hinge and Match.com, said late last year that they are "optimistic about the future" and that he expects to see the decline in paid users "moderating."
