Romney: What to do when you don't get the big job
(MoneyWatch) In February 2008, Mitt Romney called together his aides and advisors to discuss why he had failed to secure the Republican nomination. He handed out a memo, summarizing his strengths and weaknesses, determined to learn from his mistakes. Will he go through that process again following Tuesday's loss?
I guess not. After a political career in which he lost a Senate race in 1994, the presidential nomination in 2007 and the presidency this year (with a gubernatorial win in 2002 sprinkled in there), Romney might well conclude after losing three out of four his political races that the sweet spot of his career does not lie in politics. But whatever your politics, spare a thought for the guy who is like any of us who went for a top job and didn't get it. When there's no evidence that it's worth another shot, where do you go next?
1. Dare to pause
Anytime you go for a big job, you start to imagine having it, doing it. When those images are taken away, you grieve. Grief is a bad state in which to make decisions. So first: Do nothing. Give yourself time to mourn. That doesn't necessarily mean moping -- but don't fill the vacuum with frantic activity or with the first shiny new job that is presented to you. When Jeff Immelt was chosen to replace GE's Jack Welch, his competitors swiftly ran off to run other organizations as if to prove they were the better candidates. This was bad for them and bad for the companies foolish enough to hire them. Don't take a job on the rebound.
2. Shut up and listen
Instead of drawing up his own assessment of strengths and weaknesses, Romney would do better to get that insight from others. We all think we know ourselves; we all imagine we're objective. We're wrong. So take stock and be prepared to listen to hard truth. Appearance is reality here. How other people see us in leadership positions is far more important than how we see ourselves.
It may also be that Romney needs to lay some ghosts. Much of his life has been a mirror image of his father's. If he's ever going to be his own man, rather than his father's son, now is the moment. Instead of trying to compete with or imitate parents, adults become their own people. And that can be harder than it sounds.
3. Dig deep
Forget about power and prestige. While lacking these may provide motivation, getting them doesn't. So stop thinking about titles and status and start asking deeper questions -- not what titles you like having but what work you sincerely love. What gives, rather than takes, energy? Stop thinking about goals and start thinking about joy. Start to put together a new agenda for the rest of your life and dare to make it different.
That Romney does not need to work for a living isn't the issue. Smart, healthy people want to work and should work: The world needs their contribution. But the moment of defeat can be catalytic: The time when we start to see and make ourselves anew. Great leaders always cite their mistakes and failures as moments of growth. Never let a defeat go to waste.
