More Letters To 48 Hours

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Thank you for the interesting broadcast last weekend including an interview with Jamie Lee Curtis. As a person who has been treated for eating disorder issues, and fought hard to show my children the deceptive ploys used in advertising and television to portray women thinner and flawless, I appreciate so much what she had to say. I was disappointed, however, that the two next segments dealt with, once again, how to go about getting thinner and more beautiful. I recognize you have to portray both sides, but did you need to do it on the same broadcast?
-- Sue

I would just like to applaud Jamie Lee Curtis, Christie Brinkley and 48 Hours Investigates for bringing this to the attention of the public.

Thousands of teenage girls every year struggle with eating disorders because the media has given them a distorted view of what the female body should look like. They don't realize that, for the most part, the models are digitally enhanced.

It is my wish that the mainstream media start giving a more realistic view of the female anatomy, and focus more on the actual dimensions of the average woman today.
-- Maria

This is the very first time I have ever written to a television station for any reason. I am taking the time now though to first extend a huge thank you to Jamie Lee for taking a stand for so many women, including me, who feel inferior when they see women older than themselves who appear to look so much younger/perfect. Jamie is gorgeous both inside and out!
-- Jamie

As a very recent veteran of liposuction, not showing the whole truth is a huge deception. I had successful liposuction of my abdomen and hips on June 19th. It was something I had wanted to do forever and gave it to myself for my 40th birthday. Of course, the doctor goes through all the technical stuff, but your sites are set on the prize. You have seen all of the makeovers on TV and everything seems great. You can even rationalize the horror stories because the doctors weren't qualified.

But no one shows you the pain and discomfort you will go through. No one talks about having to massage very painful scar tissue so you will smooth out and not be lumpy, or the surgical garment you have to wear for at least six weeks 24/7. At one point, due to post surgical swelling, it was so tight I nearly fainted.

This is all part of a "successful" surgery. My next bonus was a post surgical life-threatening blood clot in my leg. It appeared four weeks after surgery, so of course, there is a question of whether it is related to the surgery. Strange coincidence?

I am sure that once I am fully recovered, I will be thrilled with my newly whittled abdomen, a demon for some time. And I believe that plastic surgery should be considered very carefully on many levels before you do it. But I think that someone should do a show and follow a "real" patient from start to finish and not glamorize the whole thing. That is reporting the whole story.
-- Henriette

Please extend my heartfelt thanks to Jamie Lee for being "herself." It takes a real woman to do what she has done and I am very grateful to her.

With all the status put on glamour, thinness, and unattainable beauty (unless airbrushed or surgically altered)- and yes, you at CBS are a large part of the problem - it is so refreshing to have a little truth shown. I realize it is still a male dominated society and men want to see this type of so-called, airbrushed beauty. Maybe someday it will change, but we are so far from seeing that in my lifetime it is sad.

Most women I know, even though they are very pretty, can't compete with the "fake & perfect" women in the magazine and television shows. It is truly a shame. A company as big as CBS could make more of a difference if it wanted to, and while the interview with Jamie Lee is a start, it is a very small start.

You are not only short-changing women, you are molding millions of boys and young men into wanting an unattainable perfection. Let's see more less than perfect looking "REAL" women on your shows. God knows you have enough less than perfect looking men!
-- Nancy

As I sit here and watch this segment, I can't even wait until it is over to write you. I admire 48 Hours Investigates, and Jamie Lee Curtis so very much. What an eye opener for me! I am constantly on a diet. I have always struggled with my weight, and not quite sure I have ever been really happy.

After watching your segment tonight, I think I finally get it! I am going to concentrate on being happy and healthy! Perfection is unattainable, at least without certain cameras and airbrushing. I have lost way too many years of my life struggling to be what I thought was perfect. I am no longer concerned with that. I choose to be healthy and happy. And like Jamie Lee said, otherwise, "I jump ship, swim to shore, and be with my family." Family and being happy with yourself is what's really important! Thank you so much for making me see the light!
-- T. Smith

The message editors from all media give young boys and men is quite similar if not more subtle. Guys wouldn't admit this, but it's true. My son, who is almost 15, complains to me that his legs are too fat. For more information, you can check out the NFL, WWF, MLB, NBA, magazines such as MAXIM, GQ, Men's Health, Sports Illustrated, for more info.
-- Carl

I am a 56-year-old woman. I am 5'4" tall and weigh 106 pounds, have stayed out of the sun since I was in my early 30s, do yoga and walk, plus eat an extremely healthy diet. I also am fortunate enough to be able to spend money on using a top dermatologist in Miami, Florida for the past 14 years, and as a result, my skin is pretty flawless because of using the best creams and a little botox here and there. I don't need an ounce of plastic surgery, and at this point in my life, I hope I never feel the necessity to do so.

I don't feel pressured by society to dress my age. I wear jeans practically every day of my life and heels as high as I want, and my hair is past my shoulders.

I am not saying I am a beauty, but I am content with the way I look and feel. I eat, I feel good and I don't deny myself anything - and it's because the foods I eat are the foods I so love. The sugar and white carbs are wasted calories and they just don't appeal to me. The healthy foods are the foods that give me so much pleasure. If it isn't going to benefit me, why would I want to eat those unhealthy foods?
-- Jennifer

I wanted to contact Roberta Flack and tell her what I think about your program about her. I don't care how "overweight" she is, how the media thinks she is or if she has a problem with it. I love her voice and she brings goose bumps to me when she sings. I never have seen her in person but would love to have the chance.

She sings beautifully and has affected many people by her songs. She brings us joy in her music. And all of the comparisons to today's stars are crazy.

Your program today upset me because you chose to bring out the appearance of a person, instead of the music we all love to hear.

Let's not forget that performers will not always look the same. But their gift to make us happy will always be remembered.
-- Tony

I can't believe these three gentlemen would take a chance on that surgery and pay all that money to get rid of fat. I'm a 37-year-old male and I weighed 222 pounds on Jan. 1, and on Aug. 1, I was down to 200. (My low has been 197 and I haven't been over 202.) My love handles are gone.

I just cut my portion sizes. I stopped eating muffins, bagels and cinnamon rolls at breakfast, stopped drinking soda with sugar, and cut down on the chocolate shakes and fried food. I used to drink two or three shakes a week, and now I've had only three all year. I eat oatmeal for breakfast about five times a week, so I feel full longer. I've eaten french fries about five times all year when I used to eat them about two or three times a week.

If my wife and I order out, we split the entree. So we're saving money too. It was tough at first, but now I can't eat a lot. My body starts to feel full much faster than before. Now, if I do have a shake or a cinnamon roll, it's a treat, which is great.

If people would just try to cut down on what they eat and watch what they eat, they'll lose weight.
-- Chris

I cannot believe that a man would knowingly listen to a woman fall from a balcony, go to his hotel room calmly and sleep, and then call on the hotel phone the next morning to supposedly give the "known dead woman" a "wake up call" - not once but twice. Was that his way of covering up the guilt his mind must be aggravating him with?

I am sure in watching him that he is telling the truth in his own mind when he states: "I did not murder her." In reality he did not murder her. It was the fall from the balcony and the impact her body made from eight stories high on the cement that killed her, so I guess he has convinced himself that the concrete sidewalk below murdered her - and he was just a witness to the fact.

I am so glad that people cannot argue such idiocies in other cases where the guilty is the only one who can be guilty, but he has also convinced himself he is not the murderer. It was the knife, or gun, or fire, or other weapon of destruction the killer used that was the murderer of the victim!

I do believe in my heart that he is indeed one heck of a guilty person out walking around amongst people who do not conduct their lives in such unscrupulous ways, and would just end the relationship instead of taking a person's life because she does not want to be "his extramarital lover." In fact, she was probably just a new victim in a very old game.
-- Dorothy

I became acquainted with Robert Salazar about five years ago when he worked for a company located in New Orleans, La. His departure in early 2001 was sudden, unexpected and no explanation was given by his employer. Now, I know why. I missed this story when you aired it a few months ago. Based on the facts of the investigation shown on your program, there is no doubt in my mind that Robert Salazar committed this crime. I feel his testimony was well rehearsed and he gave an "award-winning" performance. It is sad that he was not convicted by the jury. My heart goes out to the Orellana family.
-- Disappointed in New Orleans

Regardless of what anyone says, Sandra did put herself in harm's way. If she was so afraid of her boss, why did she drink at all, let alone, pass out drunk? Drunk people do stupid things, and things that most people would consider "out of character" for them.
-- anonymous

I hope that the victim's family pursues civil action against Salazar. I, too, am afraid of heights and can say that I have stayed in hotel rooms with balconies. I've even ventured out onto them. But I would never, ever, get on the railing - drunk or not. A fear of something doesn't stop just because one is intoxicated. The greatest fear for a person with a fear of heights is a fear of falling to their death.
-- Laura

We watched the show several times to make sure we weren't mistaken, because it seemed to us a very important piece of evidence was right in front of the camera. The pictures of the room clearly showed her bra on the floor and unhooked. In a rape, the bra is usually broken or pulled off over the head and remains hooked. When she went over the balcony, she was wearing a camisole top and nothing else. What rapist undresses his victim and then half redresses them before murdering them? She must have undressed herself and slipped into something more comfortable.
-- Charles

48 Hours Investigates
Family Secrets: Switched at Birth
July 26 at 8 p.m. ET/PT

I felt that the story you ran on the Wyoming couple whose child was switched at birth was a good story. However, I felt it was very sad that they "abandoned" the child they raised.

I also feel that the other children treated Shirley as an outcast and that is where the story fell short - in disclosing exactly how the other children in the family felt and how her parents felt. There was a feeling of distaste that they raised a Hispanic child and that was, in their eyes, unacceptable. I hope that Shirley comes to a place in her life where she feels accepted.
-- Debbie

It really bothered me how the Morgan family did not stop to think how this would affect their relationship with their sister/daughter. It gave me the impression that they didn't care, and in the end, Shirley Morgan seemed to have lost her family.

People need to stop and realize there is more to family than just a blood connection and if Debra feels she is questioning everything that has happened to her, the same would go for Shirley. Debra thinks she would have had a better life, but who really knows? They basically removed one of their "own" family members to replace Shirley with Debra. The one that really lost is Shirley. Not only did she lose her identity, but in the end her family, too.
-- Roseanna

My daughter had given up her son for adoption 34 years ago. She was unmarried and the father of the baby was already married, so she went through this alone, with the support of her father and myself. We sent her out of state to live with a relative until the birth (you must remember, in those days, it was so shameful to have a child out of wedlock.)

My daughter has been registered with many agencies over the years and she has never been contacted by anyone. Then came your show. I called her immediately and told her about "Bighugs.com." She registered with them immediately. However, they had to pass her on to another agency since they were so busy. The other agency was wonderful to her. In exactly one month, they found him. He had been searching for her, too.

That first contact resulted in a phone conversation, which was followed by many phone calls, e-mails, and pictures exchanged. He has visited and met his half-brother and sisters; he was thrilled to have siblings. He is happily married to a wonderful gal (who encouraged this meeting) and they have two children. Now, my daughter has three grandchildren, and she couldn't be happier.
-- A happy grandparent

Wonderful story! I am drawn to such programs as I am also searching for relatives adopted into other families. The change of mind or heart after the initial exhilaration of meeting long lost loved ones has been one of my greatest fears. But I shall not let go of hope. I would very much like to tell the mother of the baby placed in/at the gazebo that no matter what walls have brought themselves between mother and daughter, there is nothing in this life as beautiful or more important than the unmistakable, unbreakable bond which exists between mother and daughter. Fear subsides. Love does not.
-- Ted

I would like to correspond with Liz Bagwell. I too, am adopted and searched and found my birthparents. There are words of encouragement I would like to pass on to her, if possible.
-- Marie

My Aunt Shirley began researching our family history about three years ago. She is putting together a book about her childhood.

Their father (Eric) was in the military and was very abusive to both their mother (Vivian) and the kids. They divorced in 1963 and he has since remarried and has three other children. Vivian died in 1994.

Shirley began thinking about an old family friend, Whit, when she was doing her family scrapbook. Whit was in the military with their father. Shirley used the Internet to track him down, finding him residing in Georgia. Recently, he told Shirley that he was always in love with their mother, had an affair with her in 1958, and is sure the youngest girl (Viki) is his daughter!

Whit never had any children and it would be a dream come true to meet Viki, his only daughter and her five children. Now, he wants to take a DNA test to prove that Viki is his.

Whit is old and not in the best health and it would really mean a lot for him, being in his 70s, to meet Viki, his one and only child which was conceived with the woman he truly loved so long ago. Neither family has the money to travel to meet (they live in different states) but have spoken on the phone several times.
-- Heather

I noticed that during the Week 5 portion of your episode on weight loss, (Trying To Lose A Ton) no one mentioned the fact that muscle weighs more than fat. So, as one loses pounds by modifying their eating habits and engaging in physical activity, they may periodically "plateau" as their metabolism adjusts and even gain weight as they add muscle mass to their frame from their new exercise regime. One can lose inches without actually losing weight, and that is okay.
-- Christine

My brother died three and a half days after his RNY gastric bypass surgery. Pending lawsuit, I don't know how much I can say, but you can add him to the growing number of people dying from this. It has been devastating for the entire family.
-- Pam

I too had the surgery. I was 220 lbs and within six months had lost 75 lbs. A few years later I had digestion problems and was told I had reflex disease, when I'd never had any heart burn problems. After several tests, I am having the band removed and having the gastric bypass. I know a lot of people from my support group who lost a large amount of weight, and like myself, are now having problems. If I could have done it over again, I would have insisted on the bypass. By now, I would be at my goal weight instead of back to my original weight of 220.
-- Anonymous

I understand that both sides of the story need to be told, but couldn't a bit more research have been done on this story? It came out sounding as if chances for success were 50/50, at best, and then we'd only lose 50-70 percent of our excess body weight. Never was it mentioned that the band is a tool to be used in helping to lose weight.

As for the woman who had acid reflux, this band is not a cure-all for everything. Most people on the message board (Yahoo Bandsters) report having no reflux problems since being banded - the band actually helped to solve reflux. I understand this is just one woman's experience, but it came across as being a "side effect" of the surgery, and it is not!

As for me, I consider the band already a success. I haven't been banded for six months yet, but I have lost 103 pounds and am off all of my medications, my CPAP machine (for sleep apnea) included! I still have about 85 more pounds to go, but with my continued exercise patterns and healthier eating choices, I've no doubt I will succeed!
-- Leigh

I myself have more then 100 pounds to lose, but I am unable to get the gastric bypass surgery performed. The reason is my insurance carrier, even though my family physician, my nurse, and the surgeon have all stated that this is something that is medically necessary.

The question I hear so often is, "Why take that type of a risk when all you need to do is eat less?" This question gets me so angry! Do people say this type of thing to alcoholics? Drug addicts? Anorexics? Bulimics? Doesn't anyone think that if it were that easy the United States wouldn't have such an obesity problem?
-- Kimberly

I am tired of shows such as yours (and society as a whole) treating us like we are weak-minded, second class citizens. Being an overweight person in this society (and being the brunt of constant jokes and scorn) is hard, very hard. We are made to look like either fools, or worst yet, non-existent people. This has got to stop!

I have been overweight for most of my life. For years, I have been ridiculed by family members and people attempting to "shame" me into losing weight. Instead, it makes you retreat into yourself.

And it has spread to our children. Society teaches our children to ridicule fat children (and adults) to the point where children are pressured at an early age to lose weight. These children develop eating disorders that stay with them for a lifetime, or worse, are committing suicide rather than be teased about their weight.

Instead of pushing the next big thing in the world of dieting, or giving us the same old tired weight loss statistics, why don't you do a show on individuals who are comfortable about their weight? Show us wearing stylish plus-sized clothing, going to plus-sized singles events or loving people who love us for who we are, instead of what society thinks we should be like? You may be surprised that we are not the weak-minded individuals shows like yours make us out to be.
-- Kathy

Your program on weight loss didn't offer much to Americans that want to lose weight effectively and safely. There was no mention of any of the controlled carbohydrate diets (the most popular is probably Atkins), and yet they, when properly followed, are the most effective.

I myself have lost 30 pounds since I started a controlled carbohydrate regimen in February of this year. More importantly, I have reduced my cholesterol, blood pressure, triglycerides, and have near perfect blood sugar. I have more energy, sleep better, and in general feel better. I no longer get acid indigestion, and am eating foods I gave up on years ago because of that problem. I have seen a large reduction in joint pain, which at age 51 had become an increasing problem.
-- Martin