Jim Gaffigan: Take a hike!
It takes an honest person to admit they made a mistake, and I'm not ashamed to admit I was wrong. Once. Well, kind of.
Anyway, I'd like to talk to you about hiking.
Some of you may know, I'm not a huge outdoorsman, or generally a fan of movement, so therefore you wouldn't think I'd be a hiker. And I'm not! Well, I wasn't. Heck, a couple years ago I did six minutes of standup on how stupid hiking is:
"There's always that moment when you go hiking when you realize, Oh no, now we have to walk back! There's no exit through the gift shop!
Hiking may be ridiculous, but we live in ridiculous times. Companies like REI, Eastern Mountain Sports, North Face and Patagonia (or as I refer to the group, "Big Hike") are aware of this. They're probably cleaning up during the pandemic.
What previously made hiking so bizarre and pointless, only makes hiking appealing during this Age of Corona. When you go hiking, there is no bar, restaurant or even a vending machine, which today is sadly preferred. Social distancing is built into hiking. There's no crowds. You can safely hike with your mask down for an extended period of time like it's 2019 or some by-gone era.
Hiking is just rambling through the woods, but somehow it's considered exercise. Unlike running or weightlifting, hiking is pleasant and almost meditative. I'm not sure why walking on dead leaves counts as exercise, but I'll take it! I know whenever I return from a hike, I'm allowed to eat whatever I want.
Thanks, Big Hike!
Hiking somehow makes you a better parent. It's a COVID-safe activity you can do outside and away from your home with your kids. I mainly hike with my children because it makes them tired – I mean, allows me to spend quality time with them. On hikes my children can't be on a screen, and I know that night they'll actually go to sleep at a decent hour.
Thanks, Big Hike!
Wait a minute … I don't normally indulge in conspiracy theories, but what if Big Hike is behind the whole pandemic?
Brilliant!
For more info:
- jimgaffigan.com
- Follow @JimGaffigan on Twitter
Story produced by Julie Kracov. Editor: Chad Cardin.
