Jim Gaffigan on parents going "back to school"
Summer is over. My too many children will finally be heading back to school. I'm not sure why a six-year-old even gets 10 weeks of summer vacation, but I don't make up the rules. Maybe first grade is harder than I remember.
By next week children throughout the country will be back in school. Well, except for the kids that are homeschooled. They'll be back, well, still home.
"Back to school" is presented in popular culture as a time of celebration for parents. Moms and dads are portrayed gleefully dancing as they buy school supplies as if children starting school somehow means the parents begin some "vacation."
You'd think parents are just dying to get rid of their children! I mean we are. We most definitely are!
But sadly, somewhere along the line, "back to school" started to include parental obligations: Parent coffees, welcome assemblies, curriculum nights. Now the parents have to go "back to school"!
Not only are these fake commitments unfair, it's a real issue when you have five children, which I do. I know some of that is my fault, but my September will be filled with too many "back to school" obligations. I'm dreading the parent coffees, and having to pretend like I'm interested in hearing about where some other dad played golf this summer.
I'm sure to some of you, these commitments don't sound that bad, but believe me they are. All these "back to school" parent events not only eat up my precious time, but they dampen the joy I feel in seeing my children leave for school in morning, right before I go back to bed.
"Back to school" should be for children only. I know my father never had to attend any of these things. My dad never went to a curriculum night, a class coffee, or a parent-teacher conference.
I don't think my dad even knew I went to school, and I turned out fine!
… Right?
More commentaries from Jim Gaffigan:
- A craft beer even Jim Gaffigan would like
- Decaf coffee is un-American
- Cheeseburgers are in "grave danger
- On retiring from being a dad
- Jim Gaffigan on that unavoidable certainty of life: Traffic
- Confessions of a news junkie
- On what to do about America's overweight statistics
- On losing his appendix
- On the need for a good nap
- On that topic Jim Gaffigan can't talk about
For more info:
- jimgaffigan.com
- Follow @JimGaffigan on Twitter
- Jim Gaffigan's special, "Quality Time," is available on Amazon Prime
Story produced by Sara Kugel and Charis Satchell.
