Jim Gaffigan: Back to (home) school
This is normally one of my favorite parts of the year: the end of summer. I can stop applying sunscreen, I can hang up my long-sleeve sunshirt, and I can watch my children prepare to head back to school.
Unfortunately, this year my children won't be physically headed back to school. They'll just still be here … with me, like they have been for the last one hundred years.
I love them.
Like many parents, my wife and I have struggled over the school question. Do we send our children back for in-person learning and possibly expose them to the coronavirus, or expose others to the coronavirus? Or ... do we not educate them? (Okay, the last part was my suggestion, which my wife didn't like.)
Of course, the opposite of in-person learning is distance learning. I am sorry to say those words so early on a Sunday. Even hearing the phrase "distance learning" makes me want to drink scotch straight from a bottle.
Okay, fine, I'll do the distance learning again. I'll morph from grumpy parent into personal assistant of my children:
"Excuse me sir, you have a third grade Zoom in five minutes, and here's your sliced apple snack. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to order more scotch."
Welcome back, everyone!
See also:
- Week 1: Family life under lockdown
- Week 2: Life in quarantine is like a sitcom
- Week 3: Spring arrives!
- Week 4: Lessons of "distance learning"
- Week 5: Kids, quarantine and sanity are not compatible
- Week 6: Consuming all news, all the time
- Week 7: Jim Gaffigan discovers he misses strangers
- Week 8: On sharing dinner with the masses
- Week 9: On living in unprecedented times
- Week 10: Are we REALLY all in this together?
- Week 11: On not knowing what comes next
- Jim Gaffigan on what dads REALLY want on Father's Day
- Jim Gaffigan on getting the whole lockdown thing wrong
- 2020, please turn your notifications off
- Jim Gaffigan on his first drive-in standup show
- On living in a time warp
- On acquiring a green thumb
For more info:
- jimgaffigan.com
- Follow @JimGaffigan on Twitter
- Watch "Dinner with the Gaffigans" on YouTube
Story produced by Sara Kugel. Editor: Chad Cardin.
