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How Rude!

According to Judith Martin, etiquette is not for amateurs. That's why Martin has been teaching the rules of civitlity through her "Miss Manners" column, which has more than 35 million readers. She has freshly updated her 1982 classic manual, "Miss Manners' Guide To Excruciatingly Correct Behavior."

Click here to read an excerpt from the Introduction.

Much has changed since 1982, but she says that the basic etiquette rules have not changed, and instead, are simply "clothed" in the etiquette of the times.

For example, 20 years ago, talking to the phone while someone was standing in front of you was considered rude. "So why haven't people figured out that the same principle applies to cell phones? Talking on the phone while out to dinner with someone is rude. People need to make that leap and adapt the etiquette rules to the current time," she says.

The following are basic principles that Martin says everyone should follow:

  • Respect for others
  • Respect for institutions
  • Respect for houses of worship
  • Realization that you have to restrain yourself as well, if you expect others to behave
Respect is now understood to be very important. Not long ago, people felt they could make offensive comments about women, minorities, and the disabled without any backlash. Martin says it should be taught not by the media but by parents and reinforced by teachers and spiritual leaders.

"Parents today don't want to give their children these manner lessons. Some feel that children will learn this on their own as they grow up. But that's not true. Manners must be taught to children. But parents don't want to seem uncool. That's a problem," says Martin.

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