Excerpts From Email Exchange
Excerpts from the Larry Froistad email exchange:
Larry Froistad: "My God, there's something I haven't mentioned, but it's a very important part of the equation. The people I'm mourning the loss of I've ejected from my life. Kitty had to endure my going to jail twice and being embarrassed in front of her parents. Amanda I murdered because her mother stood between us."
Elisa: "Okay, Larry, what do you mean, you murdered your daughter? Is this emotional hyperbole or pure fact? And are you getting professional help? Worriedly, Elisa"
Froistad: "OK, it seems to me that there's a great deal of risk to this; my email can be traced. I've been wide open about my identity. But somehow I've unintentionally left the impression that I'm flailing myself for some sort of weird self-gratification. Maybe I do that to some extent. But when I talk about killing my daughter, there's no imaginative subcompotent.
"I suffered for years trying to get custody of her after her mother divorced me. When I did, I still had to deal with her mother's constant attempts to take her back. I had the upper hand; in fact, her mother gave up her summer custody just before I killed Amanda. But I always felt that I was not in complete control. My mother told me that I was too hard on her, that I expected too much from her. When I brought her home from her mother's, I abandoned the rules I had set and let her do whatever she wanted. In fact, my mother and grandmother visited the next day and she forgot that she was supposed to get dressed before receiving visitors. :) It was really very cute when she woke up and started to walk into our living room, buck-naked. I loved her for her willingness to be fun in simple ways. I would do anything to have her back; but the conflict was tearing me apart, and the next night I let her watch the videos she loved all evening, and when she was asleep I got wickedly drunk, set our house on fire, went to bed, listened to her scream twice, climbed out the window and set about putting on a show of shock, surprise, and grief to remove culpability from myself.
"Dammit, part of that show was climbing in her window and grabbing her pajamas, then hearing her breathe and dropping her where she was so she could die and rid me of her mother's interferences. Hearing her wheeze in the smoke which I could barely stand, looking at her bedroom door burning, these are things I can't forget.
"Those last two screams that I tell everyone saved my life - they are wounds on my soul that I can't heal and that I'm sure I'm meant to carry with me. I am damaged goods, and as much as I feel I need the comfort of someone in my life that I can be good to, someone I can build a new family with - the simple fact is that I don't deserve those things and I'm meant to suffer a thousand times longer than my little girl did.
"I cried like a baby in the emergency room at the hospital; I was very disappointed that I couldn't see her after they pulled her out of our houe (where they took her before they carried me off). I was stunned and shocked the whole time they flew me down to Rapid City for observation and such, and I've been destroyed ever sinceÂ…"