Couple lost their spouses to cancer then found love at grief camp
Nancy Jalowiecki and Mike Sullivan never expected to find love at a grief camp. Both were newly widowed parents, mourning spouses taken too soon by cancer when they met at a Pennsylvania retreat in 2019.
Sullivan was struggling to raise his daughters, 3-year-old Keeva and 5-year-old Molly, after losing his college sweetheart Maria to breast cancer at age 35.
Jalowiecki was there with her daughters, 7-year-old Kaya and 5-year-old Navah, grieving the loss of her husband Ed, who died of acute myeloid leukemia at 42.
"The kids bonded almost instantly," Jalowiecki said. "Navah came running and said, 'Mommy, we met a friend. Her name is Molly, and she says she lost her mom and that she misses her. And we told her that we lost our daddy and that we miss him.'"
For Sullivan, that moment was transformative.
"For those kids to just be out there playing like normal kids and having this sort of deep conversation was a pretty moving moment," he said.
What began as a weekend to help their children process grief unexpectedly offered healing for the adults too. Jalowiecki was touched by Sullivan's struggles with everyday parenting tasks typically handled by his late wife.
"When he started sharing about having a hard time combing their hair, bathing the girls, things he didn't know how to do, I said, 'I know how to do all that,'" she said. "I started feeling gratitude in my heart and feeling that I was still here for a purpose."
As weeks passed and their daughters' friendship grew, so did Sullivan's affection for Jalowiecki. When he asked his father if it was too soon to have feelings for someone new, his father replied simply, "Too soon, says who?"
A year after that fateful meeting, Sullivan, an elementary school principal from New Jersey, and Jalowiecki, a pre-K teacher from the Dominican Republic, were married.
In their home, photos of Ed and Maria are displayed prominently. Their memory isn't hidden but celebrated openly.
"We speak about them every day. We pray for them every day," Sullivan said.
"There's no us without them," Jalowiecki added.
The couple has become informal teachers in navigating grief. Jalowiecki, who has written a book titled "Grief and Gratitude," noted, "Some people do not know that grief begins at the diagnosis, not when your spouse passes. It starts when the diagnosis hits the family and turns it upside down."
Their blended family breathes with both loss and renewal. Keeva, who bears a striking resemblance to her late mother, maintains a memorial in her room featuring her birth mother's favorite things. Yet in her heart, there's room for both Maria and Nancy, whom she calls "Mom."
When asked if grief is worth it, Jalowiecki didn't hesitate: "A hundred percent. It's what we want our girls to take from all of this — that we are grateful that we had them in our lives for the time that we did."
Sullivan agrees. "The grief can be a reminder of that person," he reflected. "And I wouldn't change a thing."
David Begnaud loves uncovering the heart of every story and will continue to do so, highlighting everyday heroes and proving that there is good news in the news with his exclusive "CBS Mornings" series "Beg-Knows America." Every Monday, get ready for moments that will make you smile or even shed a tear. Do you have a story about an ordinary person doing something extraordinary for someone else? Email David and his team at DearDavid@cbsnews.com
