Author of "Luckiest Girl Alive" talks about her own gang-rape
Jessica Knoll, author of best-selling novel "Luckiest Girl Alive," has revealed that the book's plot is based on traumatic events that have happened in her own life.
Ani, the book's protagonist, was gang-raped when she was in high school, and in the latest Lenny Letter, Lena Dunham's newsletter, Knoll wrote that she was also gang-raped as a teenager.
Knoll penned a moving essay about her experience and how it took seven years for someone -- her therapist -- to call what had happened "gang rape." The author explained that she had passed out after drinking alcohol, and faded in and out of consciousness as she was raped by several male classmates. She also wrote that afterward, she was bullied by classmates and even teachers over the incident.
Knoll also said that she had trouble coming to terms with the rape because she thought reinventing herself and finding professional success would solve her problems.
"I was sure that with the right wardrobe, a glamorous job, and a ring on my finger before the age of 28, I could transcend my reputation," she said. "That if everyone from my past could see me so put together, so accomplished in New York City, so settled down,my voice would finally be worth hearing."
But Knoll noted, the "appearance of living well is not the same thing as actually living well," and said she realized she needed to heal by talking about her rape and coming forward. The author said it's still difficult to talk about and that when a fan approached her to ask how she knew the firsthand experience of assault so well, she started to tear up.
"'Something similar to what happened to Ani happened to me,' I responded for the first time ever, and she grabbed my wrist and held it tight, blinking tears, while I smiled brightly, insisting in a foreign falsetto, 'I'm fine! It's fine!'"
Dunham wrote in a foreword that while it was difficult to read Knoll's essay, she was glad that the author's firsthand account would make way for more people to tell their stories.
"Luckiest Girl Alive" is also set for a film adaptation, produced by Reese Witherspoon.
