Anonymous Sperm Donor Meets Kids

For decades, sperm donors have been willing to help infertile couples have children, as long as their identities remained a secret. But what happens if the donor wants to meet his offspring?

CBS News Correspondent Susan McGinnis found out for The Early Show. She went to Somerset, Mass., to meet a single mom and the anonymous donor her two kids now call "Dad."

"They knew that they didn't have a dad in their family and that was OK with them," Raechel McGhee says about her children.

Until recently, Aaron and Leah McGhee had never met their father and, what's more, neither had their mother.

"If anybody said, 'Where is your daddy?' They would just look at the person and say: 'We don't have a daddy in our family," Raechel McGhee says. "We have a donor.'"

McGhee used a sperm donor to have her children, and signed an agreement that the children couldn't meet the donor until they turned 18. But when McGhee learned about a Web site created to bring siblings of donors together, she took a chance and posted a note with her donor's number.

"I just put, 'Donor if you're out there, thank you. These are the most beautiful children in the world. They're the greatest gift. We wish you everything good. Thank you, thank you, thank you.' "

McGhee's sperm donor, Mike Rubino, immediately wrote back.

"As soon as I read the message," he says, "I hoped that, and I felt that, it was likely that I would be in some way a part of their lives."

"And there it was," McGhee says. "And I said, 'Oh, my God, this is him.' "

Rubino says McGhee phoned him and they talked for a long time. "That brought it home that I have kids," he says. "They have names. They have ages. They became absolutely real at that point."

"It was emotional," McGhee says. "It was surreal. It was beyond description for both of us."

The two exchanged pictures over the Internet. Rubino said when he saw those little faces, it was "incredible."

"Both of us in that very first conversation said, 'I just want you to know that I don't want anything from you,'" McGhee says.

Rubino, divorced with no kids of his own, had always been open to connecting with his biological children. He wrote and called Aaron and Leah, and sent Christmas presents.

"I thought, 'This guy is actually sincere,' " McGhee says. "It seems like he may actually be interested in these kids as human beings."

Rubino even wanted to be called "Dad."

This past February, McGhee took her kids to meet their dad in Los Angeles and, by the end of a week, a new family was born.

"I love the kids," Rubino says. "They immediately bonded with me. Well, Leah took a little while to get used to me, but she is now."

CBS News brought Rubino to Massachusetts for his second visit with McGhee and the kids. He played with them both and even went to an assembly at Aaron's school, a first for Rubino.

"I thought I'd go in thinking, 'Well, let's this get this over with,' but no. It was very sentimental for me," he says.

His only turmoil, he says, comes from questioning, "How much time do these kids need and how much can I provide for them?"

Dr. Cappy Rothman, founder of the California Cryobank, says, "I can't think of one that said, 'Boy, I just look forward to meeting my child when they reach the age of 18,' not one."

Rothman says most sperm donors prefer their identities kept secret. Rubino's response has been a wonderful surprise.

"He was happy. The kids were happy. She was happy," Dr. Rothman says. "It was wonderful bringing everybody together."

It may seem impossible, but McGhee and Rubino believe they can make this arrangement work with nightly calls and more visits.

"I believe that he has that level of loyalty," McGhee says, "and he has that level of commitment that he will continue to be dad to them as long as he's alive. I am astonished by how lucky I am."

But McGhee isn't the only woman who got "lucky" for choosing Rubino. There is a child in San Diego he sees and, recently, Rubino learned of two more women, each with a child he fathered.

"I'm a little concerned if any others come forward," Rubino says, "only because I don't know how much time I could spend with everyone, depending on how many actually start to turn up. But these kids are now absolutely a huge part of my life."

Though McGhee once had visions of a truly happy ending, that Rubino might become the perfect mate for her, all she expects now is for him to be there consistently for Aaron and Leah.

She says, "He's their biological father and they see him that way. And I don't think there is any substitute for that."

McGhee is thinking about moving to Los Angeles to be closer to Rubino. Rubino says he wants and enjoys having these children in his life, but not on a daily basis, as a full-time father.