Andy Rooney Sorts Through His "Good Mail"

I'm sort of worried these days because I've been getting a lot of good mail, recently. I don't know, maybe I'm getting soft. Of course I like getting letters that say I've done something well better than letters that call me an ignorant idiot. I get some of those too of course.

Scottie Casey from Austin, Texas wrote, "I am a huge fan of you and your work! I think you are the most talented and creative writer on the planet! You are the reason why I watch '60 Minutes.'"

Well thank you, Scottie. I wish you hadn't finished your letter by asking for an autographed picture of me. It makes me wonder if you really meant what you said.

I tell a lot of people who ask for my autograph that if I send a picture or an autograph it'll be the first one - and you'd be the first one Scottie!

A nice, but strange letter from Carol Vivona, in Hackensack, N.J. She writes, "We look forward to...your commentary every week. Many times people who have written to you make comments about your eyebrows. I think they are cute and match your personality."

Carol, thank you. You're the first person who ever called me cute. I am not going to cut my eyebrows though because I don't want to change what I look like even if I'd look better. What you see is what you get.

This letter is addressed "Attn: Art Rooney", inside the letter starts, "To whom It May concern". Some days I'd rather be "To Whom It May Concern" than either "Art", or "Andy."

Finally, Mike Smith writes - well, I can't make out what he writes because his penmanship is as bad as mine, but I'm sure he wrote only good things about me.

Written by Andy Rooney