"American Idol": Top 12 girls' night to sing
(CBS News) There hasn't been a girl winner in five years on "American Idol." There hasn't, therefore, been a true star emerging from the show's ranks. Unless you count the dulcet dullness that is Scotty McCreery.
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In fact, "Idol"'s greatest alumni are all alumnas: Kelly Clarkson (now a mentor on "The Voice"), Carrie Underwood, Jennifer Hudson. These are true stars. Simultaneously, Clay Aiken is appearing on "The Celebrity Apprentice."
We began Wednesday's ladies night with a nice girl from the countryside of North Carolina. She shoots guns and it takes her 40 minutes to get to any kind of mall. She needs to be famous. Chelsea Sorrell, country girl, decided she ought to sing Carrie Underwood's "Cowboy Casanova."
This was very jolly and about as original as doughnuts. Still, she performed competently before the live audience.
"I just wondered if that was the best choice," mused a philosophical Randy Jackson.
Jennifer Lopez called it "nasally." What had happened to these people who had gushed waterfalls at some of the most mediocre boys the night before?
"I really want to be electric," offered Erika Van Pelt. Her "What About Love?" had, well, wattage. And, perhaps, so-whattage. It was, just as Sorrell: competent, but no more. It was as if Heart's patent had run out and Pfizer has released a generic.
"Let loose on us," pleaded Lopez.
Jen Hirsh's family knows from loose. They own a vineyard. She has a lady poodle that she refers to as her "dog-hter." And yet despite all this originality, she chose to sing Adele's "One and Only." The most emotive song of the last year was given, regretfully, a lifeless burial. This was tighter than a young pinot. Which is a vast pity as Hirsh promised, from the auditions, to be one of the best and most soulful.
Lopez thought it was beautiful. Steven Tyler at least acknowledged her troubled ending.
Brielle Von Hugel - she of the large-personalitied stage momma - sat on the dock of the bay. She tried to turn Otis Redding's classic into a rocker, which was an interesting, if flawed decision. If you're sitting on the dock of the bay, you're contemplative. You're surely not getting up to do the whirling dervish.
"You got a great sense of the blues," said Tyler. "You are a true performer," declared Lopez, through her astoundingly red lips.
Von Hugel believes she belongs on this stage. Some might feel she believes it a little too much.
Hallie Day is a peroxide blonde who looks like a relative of Jessica Rabbit. She sang that she was feeling good. But she also sang of a new dawn. Which was difficult to grasp, as there was no originality here. She isn't exactly Nina Simone.
"You lost a bit of control, but you got it back at the end," said Lopez. Still, as Tyler was eager to point out, she is quite pretty. But surely not as pretty as Deandre Brackensick.
Skylar Laine somehow managed to access her inner Rod Stewart, with a country/rock/sort of rendition of The Faces' "Stay with Me." Laine, country girl from Mississippi, is the personification of spunk.
"Dude, you're like the rockin' country girl," enthused Jackson. He felt it was like Reba mixed with Kelly Clarkson. Or like Tina Turner went country, felt Lopez. Tyler couldn't find a comparison that featured a famous singer.
Another Texas country girl, Baylie Brown, followed. The notes, however, didn't. It was as if she'd left her keys in a different purse. Even the members of Lonestar might have been amazed that their song could have taken so many interesting turns.
Surely, at least one of the judges would offer the polite word "pitchy."
"I've heard you sing better...and you're very pretty," was Tyler's fair and unbalanced judgment.
"I felt you could have had a better moment," said Lopez. Jackson obliged with the word "pitchy."
Yet another Texan, Hollie Cavanagh was made up to look like Naomi Watts' stunt double. She began shakily, but somehow found dramatic effect. The song sounded like it was from a children's pageant. But it was actually Christina Aguilera's "Reflection."
Tyler hoped that she would let her hair down next time. No, literally. The other judges kept telling her she was one of the favorites.
Haley Johnsen is good at gymnastics (those little films the contestants make can be very useful). She would need to be, as the sound mix made her own voice disappear several times during "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)." At least this showed courage. But her voice leaped the pommel onto the road less traveled.
"I hope America could hear all the special things you were doing with your voice," said Lopez, diplomatically. Again, she offered the absurd criticism that the song might have been too famous. As if all the songs hitherto had been obscure.
"It was a bit of a nightmare, instead of a dream," said Jackson, in a curious bout of candid monologue. Subsequently, he even used the phrase "train wreck."
Shannon Magrane, 16, was, to many ears - and Steven Tyler's lascivious eyes - one of the favorites. She was dressed like a demure teen on the way to prom. Yes, she even had a headband. But this girl can sing a little, even if it's a little high school. Her "Go Light Your World" had power and not a little grace, even if it's one of the dullest songs this side of "Three Blind Mice."
Most importantly, she gave Lopez her first "goosies." It is well known you cannot impress La Lopez without giving her goosies. Which bodes well, perhaps, for those who give her foie gras.
Jessica Sanchez had sick vocal cords, medically speaking. Yet she braved her way through "I Love You (Perfect Man)" and forced a powerful last note past her strained nodules. The judges stood to applaud.
"That girl can really sing," said Jackson. "One of the best of the last two nights."
You might think that the 412 versions of Adele songs thrown up in the auditions were quite enough. But, no - Elise Testone had to offer up one more. And it was the same song that Jen Hirsh had performed.
This had more rasp. However, Testone lost control and uttered some gutturals that were far beyond melody.
"You blew it out of the water," said Tyler. "You're one to watch," added Lopez. "You're definitely one of the best voices here," smeared Jackson. At least he confessed that it wasn't one of her best performances.
Indeed, the whole night offered a collective disappointment that might have fed into criticism of the show offered by none other than News Corp COO Chase Carey. He suggested this week that "Idol" "can and should provide fresh energy."
This miffed "Idol" executive producer Nigel Lythgoe so much that he took to Twitter and declared: "Maybe if the COO bothers to watch #IDOL tonight he may give us a little more support in the future. Certainly more than he gave us today!!!"
Perhaps - as the long lost Simon Cowell used to say - if Lythgoe watches the show again, he'll realize just how much work he has to do to generate a little excitement. It is, no longer, the one and only.
TOP SIX: Jessica Sanchez, Hollie Cavanagh, Shannon Magrane, Skylar Laine, Jen Hirsh (for previous performances) and then take your pick.