"American Idol" returns, hears voices

(CBS) It seems as if "American Idol" never went away.

That's because "The Voice" and "The X Factor" tried to steal its wardrobe, alter a few stitches and claim the Emperor was better dressed than ever.

So Wednesday night, JLo, STy and RJa will be seen again as if they were only here last week, auditioning the young, the hopeful and the barely sane.

Special section: "American Idol"

Jennifer Lopez, Steven Tyler and Randy Jackson create the most controversial threesome since Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore and Twitter.

Indeed, their criticisms last year were so anodyne that it was no surprise that the winner, Scotty McCreery, was as revolutionary as a McDonalds' French fry.

This year, though, "Idol" has even more direct competition. For NBC's "The Voice" is scheduled to begin immediately after the Super Bowl on February 5.

True, "The Voice" is steering away from Idol's Wednesday and Thursday night, opting for Monday - the traditional night for "Dancing With The Stars."

But how many people will really wish to be involved for three nights every week with the essentially same structure of singers covering famous people's songs and then hoping enough ordinary people warm to their cover versions?

This would surely put a slightly greater onus on the "Idol" judging panel to say something interesting. Or, at least, to offer honest and direct criticism rather than tossing bland whispers of love to a succession of tired-looking teens.

Tyler, indeed, was more famous last year for making slightly elderly comments of alleged flattery to the female contestants than for contributing one jot to anyone's musical development.

If anything, the steely-eyed, clear-eared, cold-hearted assessments of producer Jimmy Iovine left the three behind the desk looking little more than louche stooges.

Fox, naturally, believes that "Idol" is an object of love, rather than just another reality show.

"This is the show the audience wants to come back to," believes Fox's Mike Darnell.

Some nights, though, your lover doesn't come home. You don't know why. You don't know if you've done something wrong. Sometimes, you never find out.

As Head of Reality TV at Fox, Darnell is also the jefe of "The X Factor", so many will be fascinated as to where his definition of love might be nuanced when that show returns later this year. Perhaps he'll describe it as the world's best 12-night stand.

"Idol", though, has a long way to fall. It averaged some 25 million viewers last year, around twice that of its pretenders.

Still, both "The Voice" and "The X Factor" have a younger profile. Indeed, Kelly Clarkson, one of the most successful winners of "Idol," is joining "The Voice" as a mentor.

Might she happen to know where her true audience lies?

One aspect of "Idol" that could surely do with an extreme makeover is the plethora of audition shows.

This year, there will be eight opportunities for you to bathe in popcorn and rose petals as Fox attempts to entertain with a series of sob stories, sorry losers and sadly-staged wackadoodles.

"The Voice", for one, dispensed with such fripperies, instead choosing to offer blind auditions--something Tyler would surely find beyond his abilities.

What's curious about "Idol" is that, after years in which the obviously talented did well - Clarkson and Carrie Underwood were the best examples - nice white boys seem to keep winning.

This would be nice white boys who didn't necessarily capture the imagination after the initial excitement of their, well, aura wore off.

David Cook, Kris Allen and Lee DeWyze haven't exactly planted themselves into the music world's psyche. And while McCreery is the first winner to go platinum since Cook, does he really have lasting appeal?

These nice boys come and they seem to go. Clay Aiken, for example, is attempting to raise his profile (presumably) by appearing on this year's "The Celebrity Apprentice," where he'll hang and haggle with the likes of Arsenio Hall and Debbie Gibson.

Another alleged fan favorite, David Archuleta, is leaving the music business for two years to go on a Mormon mission. Will anyone notice?

Though "The X Factor" and "The Voice" showcase more varied talents, they still end up being won by singers who might well double as double yellow lines, so middle-of-the-road are they.

Perhaps all these shows merely showcase the fact that the music business has little more to say, little more to offer that is new.

Just like the music business, they look to create temporary stars, make a swift killing and then let them slide away as the next sing-song reality show comes along.

How many acts these days create memorable third albums?

The "Idol" contestants will sell a lot of ads while they're trying to reach the top.

The one who finally gets there - unless it's a girl with truly superior talent (and preferably some acting ability too) - will likely dissipate into the atmosphere, once the excitement dampens and the attention is diverted to, say, a reality show about formerly famous people dancing or formerly large people losing weight.

In the meantime, though, everyone will get excited. Especially the six-year-old girls who actually vote.