Tips for hosting the holidays with someone in active addiction
MINNEAPOLIS — The holidays can be a joyous time to be with family.
They can also be a time of conflict, especially if someone in the family is dealing with drug or alcohol abuse.
Tiffany White from Minnesota Prevention and Recovery Alliance joined Susan-Elizabeth Littlefield on WCCO Sunday Morning to talk about how to navigate addiction during the holidays.
Watch the video above for White's tips or read them below.
Tips for hosting a holiday gathering with someone in active addiction
- Try to Include your family member if you can
- Proactively banning a family member from family events could increase their sense of isolation, loss, hopelessness, etc. which increases the risk of escalating alcohol or drug use. Weigh the pros and cons of potentially negative consequences for your loved one against potentially negative consequences for you and your family
- Don't force a family member in active substance use to attend an event if they don't want to - Manage your mindset
- Always remember that substance use disorder is not a moral failing; your loved one may have a physical dependency on substances
- Be patient with your family member
- Understand that a family member actively using substances is not going to suddenly change; you must meet them where they're at if you want to include them in the holiday celebration
- Be realistic; the magic of the season will not suddenly change your loved one. Recovery takes time, commitment, and a lot of hard work - Keep conversations light
- The holidays are not the right time or place to hold an intervention; avoid giving advice or suggestions for treatment unless asked for it
- Avoid heavy or potentially triggering conversations
- Do not ambush a family member with an intervention; they may feel ganged up on and get defensive - Set boundaries
- It's your home and your rules
- Ensure all family members attending the event are aware of why your loved one is invited and ensure that they will also abide by your rules
- Choose boundaries that work for you and your family; there is no one-size-fits-all solution (i.e., some families may say no alcohol; others may set a one or two drink limit)
-Many families choose to not have alcohol in the house and will have non-alcoholic alternatives (i.e., sparkling grape juice, mocktails, cider, etc.)
Be firm in your boundaries; if your rules are broken, there needs to be consequences (i.e., If a family member wants to have more than one drink, they need to leave)
- White's personal boundaries: No previous trauma conversations; Do not have substances they use on hand; A family member needs to come to the celebration sober; hungover is OK
- Communicate the boundaries clearly ahead of the event - Practice self-care
- It's OK to keep your distance from a family member struggling with substance use disorder
- Double down on any self-care you usually do — exercise, a bubble bath, socializing with friends, etc.
- Consider talking with a professional; there are many support groups available for individuals who have loved ones struggling with substance use
