Princeton woman shares the mental, financial struggles of infertility: "You just lose yourself in the process"
PRINCETON, Minn. — Azure Davis always knew that she wanted to have children. But what she didn't know was that her journey to creating a family would take longer, cost more money, and be as isolating as she originally thought.
She started trying two years ago; she was healthy, in her 30s, and had an active lifestyle. She got pregnant a year later, but had a miscarriage.
After the miscarriage she decided to take the next step, meeting with a fertility specialist who recommended she try IUI.
"It's a lot less aggressive or abrasive than IVF, which people hear about a lot," Davis said. "It's far less expensive too."
The process was difficult; she tried three rounds. In between appointments and ultrasounds, Davis was doing her best to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Doctors say that lifestyle is a crucial part of getting pregnant. Anything from limiting alcohol, toxin exposure, drinking more water, sleeping and moderating stress can all support one's general health, which sets people who want to get pregnant up for success.
"Look at what you are eating, making sure it's supporting your blood sugar and anti-inflammatory efforts," said naturopathic doctor Cassie Wilder. "Even looking at things like your gut health and gut microbiome and treating something you're having symptoms of can open the door for your endocrinology to work better."
But ultimately, Davis' IUI attempts failed. She took a few months to recover before decided to start her IVF journey.
"I didn't think that was ever going to be me," she said.
The path forward was murky — fertility specialists all gave her different success rates. But what became clear to Davis was that the IVF process was going to take over her life.
Since embarking on the journey seven months ago, there have countless shots and protocols, prescriptions and procedures — all to grow her family.
"I couldn't have imagined how crazy this was going to be," she said. "You just lose yourself in the process."
And it all came with a steep cost. For Davis, one round of IVF cost her $40,000, none of which was covered by insurance.
This year at the capitol, lawmakers pushed for insurance coverage for treatments to build families. The effort did no pass this session, leaving people like Davis to cover the cost alone.
Davis found a fertility clinic out of state that was about a third of the cost it would be in Minnesota, but on top of the costs, she was also flying to Colorado for treatments.
Eventually it all came together and she was able to get pregnant, but it all came crashing down.
"It was devastating. Like, hard to even talk about," Davis recalled. "They tell you even the sex of the embryo so we knew it was a boy, which that in and of itself just makes it so much more real."
"The hardest part about all of it is there's no answers. There's no reasoning. No one can tell you why or what happened, and it's nerve-racking to think, okay, if we spend all this money and do it again, what do we even do differently?" she said.
The hardest part about it all though, was that she was going through it quietly.
Davis and Wilder both say that more people are sharing their journeys these days, however. Roughly one in six people worldwide experience infertility according to the World Health Organization.
"Our community is just being way more open about it nowadays, which I think is amazing," Wilder said.
Davis recommended that families that want to have children don't put it off. Take time now to ask the important questions.
"I wish I would've known what I know now when I was 30. I would have been a little bit more proactive," she said.
Davis is still trying to grow her family, and has'nt given up.
