Good Question: Is It OK For Parents To Have A Favorite Kid?

MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) -- Parents try to love all their kids equally, but do they like one of their kids better?

When blogger Buzz Bishop wrote that he liked his 5-year-old son better than his 2-year-old, he started a worldwide conversation.

"Yes, I have a favorite son, and I'm not ashamed to admit it," Bishop wrote. "I'm guessing you could look deep in the mirror and admit you have a favorite, too."

But is it wrong to have a favorite child?

Sedra Bistonaud thinks her younger sister, Deena, is the favorite.

"I'm a violin teacher (22 students) I don't pick favorites, but I have favorites. I totally think parents have favorites," Bistonaud said.

Her mom, Deb, denied it, incidentally.

"I had a favorite from week to week," she said.

"It's the word favorite that gets people hung up," said Minneapolis author Carla Barnhill, who wrote "The Myth of the Perfect Mother."

"I think you definitely have a child you connect with easier, or a child that's easier to parent," Barnhill said.

She added: "I don't think it's bad to have one, as long as you're not showing a lot of favoritism."

She said, in fact, there might be value in looking deep inside -- as the blogger suggested -- and acknowledging that you do have an internal bias in favor of one kid.

"Then you're aware you might move into favoritism and make sure you're compensating," she said.

But on Facebook, Shaye wrote: "I think it's horrible to even think about having a favorite kid."

"I think it hits at some deep pain and they want to make sure they never cause that pain, it strikes into the fear that they may be secretly damaging their kids," Barnhill said.

She added: "That fear that we're somehow gonna mess up our kids makes us react and overreact to stuff that's really not that big of a deal."