How can parents deal with the effects of empty-nest syndrome?
MINNEAPOLIS — It's one of the biggest life changes for parents when their kids go off to college.
The empty nest can stir up all kinds of emotions, from excitement to sadness. So, how can parents cope with empty-nest syndrome? Good Question.
Jaimie Sahlstrom of Maplewood just dropped off her youngest child, Addison, at the University of Iowa.
"Somebody sent me a meme of a baby laughing, crying, laughing, crying, saying 'this is me moving in my child,' and that's 100% it," she said. "It's so wonderful and exciting, and it's also terrifying and overwhelming.
Dr. David Nathan, an Allina Health licensed psychologist, says having a child leave the house is a "gigantic" change in parents' lives.
This change, and the emotions that come with it, is often called empty-nest syndrome.
"It's usually going to be a lack of energy, sadness, kind of a lack of motivation, kind of feelings of emptiness or numbness," Nathan said.
Nathan says these emotions are normal and can be hard on the entire family.
"I was not prepared, even though I tried to prepare a lot," Sahlstrom said. "Every time I tried to envision what it looked like, it was just sort of blank in front of me. And so I'm still kind of feeling that way right now, thinking what's next? What does it look like?"
Nathan says this is a time for parents to figure out what they like to do when they're not taking care of their kids.
For some, it's taking advantage of the newfound free time as an opportunity to reinvent and rekindle passions. That's something Sahlstrom is trying to do now.
"The sadness is still there, but we're starting to put things on the calendar that we have free space now, where we didn't have that free space before," Sahlstrom said.
Besides filling the calendar, taking advantage of technology to keep in touch with their children can also help parents cope with change.
Even so, professional help may be needed in some circumstances.
"If it's really impacting someone's life, I think that's where the rubber hits the road with mental illness," Nathan said. "When people are not spending time with friends, when they having a hard time getting jobs done or having a hard time at work, I would absolutely talk to someone at that point."
It can also help to connect with other empty nesters, because there are more out there than you may think. Having meaningful conversations with your kids about the transition before it happens can also help prepare your family for the change.
