Best Ways To Spend Valentine's Day Alone

Not everyone has someone to spend Valentine's Day with. And among singles, some of us feel sort of liberated by that.

Oh sorry, did I say "us"? I meant to say "them." Because I know I could easily get a date for Valentine's Day if I was so inclined, but I'm more apt to spend the weekend preceding February the 14th watching Michelle Williams and Ryan Gosling's cute courtship descend into a hurtful cesspool in the new film Blue Valentine. My solitude on that greeting card industry-fueled holiday has nothing to do with my fear of commitment, my lack of proper hygiene or my inability to communicate my true feelings.

OK, so clearly some of us have a few demons to work out. The day Cupid's arrows go flying usually leaves people like me feeling stabbed in the heart. Here are some of the best things to do around the Twin Cities to keep your mind off of the voice in your head that's constantly whispering, "Your looks are slipping."

TC Marathon Valentine's Day 5K

Twin Cities Marathon

When Forrest Gump needed some time alone, he spent a few years (give or take) running back and forth between the coasts of America. I don't suggest you head for the hills, but maybe the most therapeutic way to cope with the time you have alone on V-Day is to take a little jog. The Twin Cities Marathon's Valentine's Day 5K will either clear your mind or, at least, give you a leg up on getting in shape for next year.

Erotic Valentines -- A Shadow Show

Bryant-Lake Bowl
810 West Lake Street, Minneapolis
(612) 825-3737
Erotic Valentines -- A Shadow Show

Sometimes, I pity people in relationships. One false move any other day is fine, but commit a faux pas on Valentine's Day and the error is amplified beyond all recognition. I imagine there are many couples that would dig a trip to Bryant-Lake Bowl for their saucy shadow show "Erotic Valentines," but it's probably a much safer bet to attend stag.

Passion For Flashin'

Vertical Endeavors
855 Phalen Boulevard, St. Paul
(651) 776-1430
Passion For Flashin'

Climbing is usually a team sport. You need someone at the other end of that rope, right? Well, if you know the ropes and feel frisky, try your hand at Vertical Endeavors' "Passion For Flashin" competition. And if you're so inclined, ask someone at the gym if they'd like to tie in. The place wasn't called the "Best Place to Meet Single Men (Straight)" by City Pages for nothing.

Too Much Love

First Avenue
701 First Avenue, Minneapolis
(612) 338-8388
Too Much Love

Billy Idol had the right idea. Dancing by yourself is the perfect thing to do when you don't care how stupid you look pogo-ing to fierce beats on the dance floor at First Avenue. No anti-Valentine's option is more appropriately titled than Too Much Love night ...

Shred The Love

Midtown Global Market
515 Washington Ave South, Minneapolis
Shred The Love

... Unless it's this one. Once again, Midtown Global Market is inviting all to bring their now meaningless trinkets from loves past so they can be properly disposed of. Vendors are also offering deals on broken heart cookies and "(What a) Jerk Chicken" to help you eat your cares away.

Battle Of The Jug Bands

The Cabooze
917 Cedar Avenue South, Minneapolis
(612) 338-6425
Battle Of The Jug Bands

It's becoming something of a Valentine's tradition at The Cabooze off Cedar Avenue, watching jug bands battle to be named the top fiddle-and-spoon-backed ensemble. Something about the rhythms from the washboard just seem to wash that man (or woman) right out of your hair.

White Castle

Various Locations
White Castle

I know, I know. White Castle has improbably become one of the new hot spots for cool couples to enjoy a very hipster holiday meal. Why do I suggest that you, a mordantly single soul, actually go seek out a place that will only reinforce your loneliness? Because it will give you a whole lot of private mirth sitting there, imagining all those couples negotiating the remainder of their romantic evenings while stifling onion-scented belches. Belches if they're lucky.

Learn To Cook Meals For One

Kitchen Window
Cooks Of Crocus Hill
Le Cordon Bleu
Whole Foods Market
Lunds & Byerlys

If you're going to refuse companionship, you'd probably better learn to cook alone, lest you spend the majority of your mealtimes at the drive-thru window of White Castle. Register for one of the many, many culinary classes around town and see just how easy it is to eat meals fit for a real king, and not just the one lording over the land of burgers.

Stay At Home, Loser

(555) 867-5309
Movie Trailer

Sweeten the pot. Have a laugh and rent Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? You'll feel a lot better knowing you're neither George nor Martha.