Tampa Bay Lightning Takes Shot At Detroit Via Twitter
By: Evan Jankens
@kingofthekc
The Detroit Red Wings open up the Stanley Cup Playoffs Thursday against the Tampa Bay Lightning. The Lightning are the favorites to beat the Red Wings, which is understandable.
But what isn't understandable is the Lightning Twitter account taking a potshot at Detroit.
You would think they would learn from Minnesota Twins TV analyst Bert Blyleven.
Once you click on the link it gives you a list of why Tampa is better than Detroit.
They start off with the climate, where they have a good argument that the weather is nice all year-long... but you can't exactly ski or snowboard in Florida. Picking apples on a gorgeous fall day? Not so much.
Then they go on to talk about what Detroit and Tampa are known for... Tampa is the cigar capital of the world? Pretty sure they stole that from Cuba. Detroit is then defined as "the world's automotive center." That is correct but the Lightning's website goes on to say Detroit doesn't produce "much of its most famous product anymore?"
Now, those are fighting words. Maybe they haven't heard of Ford, Chrysler or GM? Good luck getting around the expressway on your scooters and golf carts without us. But then again, the speed at which most of Florida's elderly residents drive means that's probably OK.
They're old. So, I'll type that again, slower.
Next, they compared the Hillsborough River to the Detroit River... yes, you get to canoe down the river next to alligators? That doesn't sound appealing at all. The Detroit River sparkling on a beautiful summer day is a bad thing?
When people disparage Tampa locally, we usually say it's the place Detroiters go to die, sometimes that it's "Detroit with palm trees" -- neither one of these cities are known for their startling cliffs and lakeside retreats.
But Tampa has to beat Detroit in the strip mall category, and the generic architecture definitely has us beat. How many identical houses can be crammed into one city block?
Let's not even get into the "only in Florida" crimes that make us cringe every day. If someone's going to file a police report about their uncle-brother threatening their Grandma-sister with a mollywop, it's probably happening in Florida.
Tampa did give credit to the Red Wings for Joe Louis Arena's address.
And I will give them one thing: Tampa does have better beaches -- because we don't have any. It's like being the only one-eyed man in the world of the blind. Congratulations!
And they say the winner of "best bridges" award goes to Tampa? I disagree with that. The Ambassador Bridge connects two countries. Another win for Detroit. Have you seen it lit up at night? It's breathtaking.
I think I can rest my case that Detroit is better than Tampa. I might be biased, as I have lived here my entire life, but there's something special about Detroit, something gritty and real, that Tampa just can't duplicate.
Oh, and just to add how I think Detroit is better than Tampa... Remember when a Tampa TV station tried to take jabs at Detroit over the David Price trade? That didn't end up well.
If Tampa is so great why are they blocking non-Florida residents from coming to their games? Are they scared?
