Jeff Riger: I Guess I'm A Walmart Wolverine
I don't know where it came from, and I'm not sure how long it has been around. Hell, I can't believe that it has caught on. Somebody help me out, who is responsible for the term "Walmart Wolverine?"
I remember the first time I heard somebody talk about a Michigan fan being a "Walmart Wolverine" and thought to myself, "how dumb." In case you have not been around this area, ohh for the last seven years or so, a "Walmart Wolverine" is a fan of Michigan's football and/or basketball programs who did not attend the university.
The term must have been invented by a Michigan State fan and now every green-and-white blooded Spartan has integrated it into their vocabulary. Michigan State students and alums use the term every chance they can get, as if a Michigan fan has no right cheering for the Maze and Blue if they didn't pay hundreds of thousands of dollars to go to school in Ann Arbor.
And being in Ann Arbor is a big part of it too, because even if you are a student at Michigan but went to the Flint or Dearborn campuses, yep you guessed it you too are a "Walmart" if you root for the football or hoops team.
So as October 15th quickly approaches, Michigan fans will have to endure the term even more as the Spartans try to beat the Wolverines in football for a fourth consecutive time, something that up to, well 3 years ago was unfathomable. As the week winds down, Michigan and Michigan State fans will engage in bashing each other without showing any mercy, and that is the great part of the rivalry.
Fans will talk about how Michigan's girls are ugly and how State students are dumb and all of it is fair game. It doesn't get any better than the jokes and the hate and the eventual loser being ridiculed on Saturday and for the remainder of the year. I love it!
But with all that being said, I still don't understand the "Walmart Wolverine" term. It just doesn't make any sense. The last time I checked, college sports are essentially professional sports on college campuses with very hot women walking around.
What is the difference with Michigan packing over 100,000 fans into the Big House and the Lions getting 60,000 plus at Ford Field? Is it because some athletes are getting paid millions why the other athletes are getting their tuition, room and board paid for? So what.
Just because you did not attend the university means you can't have an emotional fan bond to that team or program? It means you can't possibly feel heartbreak after a tough loss or joy after a huge win? Of course you can!
When I was a young boy growing up in Southfield, I saw the winged helmets and the long shorts and black socks on the Fab Five and I was hooked. From my early youth, I was a Michigan fan. Sure it helped that the Wolverines were a lot better than the Spartans, but even when the tide shifted and MSU gained ground, I still rooted for Michigan.
I believe that every sports fan in southeastern lower Michigan at one point had a decision to make.....to cheer for Michigan or Michigan State and I went with the Wolverines.
So since I decided at a young age and never ended up going to Michigan, it allegedly makes me a "Walmart." But at what age does it kick in? I surely was not a "Walmart" when I was seven or even 15 because I was not old enough to go to college. Apparently I was allowed to root for Michigan then.
But when I graduated high school and was heading to Wayne State instead of Michigan was I a "Walmart" right then -- did it take effect as soon as I got my high school diploma? You see what I'm getting at? How dumb is the term? Because I did not go to Michigan, I am not allowed to root for the athletic programs? I guess every MSU fan attended Michigan State then, right?
I love the Michigan-Michigan State week. I despise the Spartans more than the Irish and the Buckeyes, so when this game rolls around I get geeked and cannot think of a win that I would rather celebrate more. So if that makes me a "Walmart Wolverine" then hell, I'm a "Walmart Wolverine" and hope Michigan rolls in East Lansing.
Because even if I'm not allowed to root for Michigan without being called names, that doesn't mean that I will enjoy a victory over MSU any less. And more importantly it doesn't mean that MSU fans won't be absolutely demoralized. No matter what term you call me, this is what makes me the most happy.
Man I love this week!!!
