"Oh God, It's Mom" Bickering Brothers Lectured on National TV
By Wendy Widom
CHICAGO (CBS) — CSPAN is not where you would typically expect to see two grown men receive a stern lecture from their mommy. But never underestimate a mother's love – or her ability to gently scold her adult sons while they're on television. Today Brad and Dallas Woodhouse, pundits and brothers who sit firmly on opposite ends of the political spectrum, got a surprise call from their mom, who informed them in no uncertain terms that she is fed up with their bickering.
Dallas, who immediately recognized his mother's voice on the line, let out an almost imperceptible, "Oh God; it's Mom." In about two seconds, both he and Brad went from oozing massive amounts of testosterone to looking like sheepish 7-year-old boys getting busted for breaking a beloved family heirloom. Lamenting her sons' squabbles, Mrs. Woodhouse said, "I am hoping you'll have some of this out of your system when you come here for Christmas."
Good luck, Mrs. Woodhouse. Their family, just like millions of other American families, is in that fragile, wary period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. Having survived Turkey Day, perhaps by the skin of our teeth, we must now gear up for the next round of holidays, where once again all resolutions to keep our mouths shut will dissipate after five minutes in the same room as our siblings.
What is it about siblings that bring out the worst in us? Physician, author and parenting expert Deborah Gilboa says our brothers and sisters bring out not our worst but our most honest behavior. "We have different boundaries with siblings than we do with other people," she explains. "Their role in our lives is pretty much guaranteed. In that certainty and trust comes a fair amount of risk that we're willing to take." This may include reverting back to the familiar behavior we knew as children.
High expectations around the holidays can often lead to disappointment, which may trigger quarrels, according to Dr. Gilboa. Bombarded with lovely Facebook photos and Christmas movies depicting beautiful and placid family moments, siblings may resent that their holidays don't appear, at least on the surface, like everyone else's. When that happens, we lash out at those we feel most comfortable with, our siblings.
What can parents like Mrs. Woodhouse do to keep siblings in check? Dr. Gilboa recommends evaluating both parties as if you don't know them and ask yourself: does their behavior look like bickering or bullying? If it's bullying, stop the argument immediately. If not, ask the Brad and Dallas in your life if they are enjoying the conversation. If they both are, ask them to continue in another room. If not, steer them in different directions.
Or you can take Mrs. Woodhouse's approach and call into a national TV show. It'll be sure to provide lots to talk about over this holiday season and for many, many years to come.
