Chicago area mom can't get Facebook to undo change to son's account; why you should designate a legacy contact
A Chicago area mom whose adult son died last summer has been fighting Facebook after her son's page was turned into a "remembering" account without her knowledge.
Debra Lofdahl's tragic tale serves as a valuable lesson about the importance of something called a "legacy contact" for Facebook accounts.
"My son was my best friend, and I lost him and my best friend all at once, and it's sad," Debra said.
Her son, Zack, died in August at the age of 33.
"Oh, Zack, he was a character. He was funny, he was silly," Debra said.
Zack loved a throwback, creating a 1950's style diner in his basement, complete with an Elvis Presley statue, Zack's Diner menus, an antique jukebox, a gumball machine, and more.
"He was an old soul. He loved the '50s," Debra said.
Some memories are sweet, but waves of grief can hit at any time. Seeing Zack's Facebook page pained Debra all over again after he died. It was changed – set to remembering status.
"I don't understand why they would do this, that's all. I just think they need to put it back, and leave people's accounts alone. If the family wants it to be left alone, just leave it alone," she said.
Debra tried reaching out to Facebook numerous times, even trying to contact the mother of founder Mark Zuckerberg.
"Then I reached out to TV news to try to see if somebody could help me," she said.
The lack of response has been a pattern for Facebook and parent company Meta. The chances of reaching a helpful human at the tech giant is practically zero.
"When I try to reach out to Facebook, I can't get anywhere," Debra said.
So while it appears Debra will not be able to access Zack's account, there is a proactive step other Facebook users can take to prevent this sort of frustration.
"You can designate a legacy contact," said Patrick Owens, an attorney who specializes in trusts and estates, who said what happens to your electronic accounts after you die is a relatively new issue.
Facebook allows you to designate a legacy contact. So does Apple.
"That allows, will allow some access to these different accounts," Owens said.
Here's another bit of advice to avoid roadblocks after a loved one dies.
"Make sure that you have your passwords written down – your accounts, your passwords – so somebody you trust can get into those accounts," Owens said.
Debra knows she can't bring her son back, but she maintains having his page restored would bring comfort.
"My heart is completely broken, and I would really appreciate if he'd put my son's account back up to a regular account. That's all I want," she said.
Facebook did not respond to multiple requests for comment.
