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Hurley's Picks: A Christmas reminder that DeflateGate was a farce

David Andrews named 2023 recipient of Ron Hobson Media Good Guy Award
David Andrews named 2023 recipient of Ron Hobson Media Good Guy Award 02:46

BOSTON -- The NFL, as we know it today, began in 1966. That's the "Super Bowl era," as it's come to be known. Football, though, is obviously much older than that. The first known game was played in 1869 between Princeton and Rutgers. The Harvard-Yale rivalry kicked off in 1875. The forward pass came along in 1906. The NFL began in 1920. You get the idea.

And yet, from the birth of the game in 1869 until Jan. 18, 2015, zero people on the planet cared one iota about the air pressure inside the footballs of the games being played. Did that air pressure vary from game to game? From ball to ball? Don't know. Nobody cared.

That was until Tom Brady and the Patriots became attached to this matter. Once that happened -- because really, who in America liked watching Bill Belichick and Tom Brady succeed -- the concern about air pressure inside footballs became scandalous. Brian Williams, Scott Pelley and David Muir led the national news broadcasts with reporting on this intensifying scandal involving Brady. Instantly, media pundits likened potential air pressure manipulation to steroid use and called for suspensions, firings, Hall of Fame disqualifications, and Super Bowl forfeitures.

It was a bit much!

But again, we understand it to some degree. Brady and the Patriots were, largely, a public enemy. People were sick of them winning. So they used a game (where LeGarrette Blount ran for 148 yards and where Tom Brady was actually better with the reinflated footballs in the second half) to confirm whatever it is they wanted to confirm about ... air pressure.

And the funniest thing happened after that: Nobody ever cared about air pressure again.

So, timeline-wise, the world went from 1869 through 2014 without caring about the PSI inside footballs.

Then the world cared more about PSI than anything else from January 2015 through about October of 2016, when Brady returned from his four-game suspension after fighting it for a couple of years.

And then from October of 2016 until the present day and likely for the rest of eternity, the world once again is back to not caring at all about the PSI of footballs. Some instances have popped up about deflated footballs. They didn't really register. The NFL tested PSI numbers in the 2015 season ... and then, upon discovering that science is in fact a real thing, shredded the recorded data. By then, everyone had moved on to caring about Tom Brady's phone to care about PSI anymore.

Anyhoo, those of us in New England who lived and breathed The Deflated Football Experience for multiple years were treated with the news this week that kicking balls used last weekend in Foxboro for the Patriots and Chiefs were underinflated. On the one hand, that actually does seem like a more significant air pressure situation, as the marriage of feet and footballs is an unnatural one, and it's one where the pressure (or lack thereof) is a delicate thing. With the NFL in charge of the kicking balls, this would appear to be a rather significant gaffe on the part of the officials who were supposed to have the balls at the proper levels.

(Two leftover things: Remember when the NFL investigated the Patriots and found that an NFL employee was stealing kicking balls and selling them on the side? That was great. Also, remember when people tried to argue that a football inflated at 11 PSI would result in fewer fumbles than a ball inflated at 13 PSI? Were people OK? Had they played football before? Seen the sport? Know what leads to fumbles? Do they think people dig their fingers tightly into footballs like it's a Nerf game in the backyard? Wild times.)

Will the NFL come down hard on those responsible? Will people lose their jobs or at least be suspended? Will extensive investigations lead to us learning the names of some low-level game-day employees who suddenly find themselves under the boot of the multi-billion-dollar NFL enterprise?

Nah.

The NFL might acknowledge the error. The NFL might not acknowledge the error. But nothing's going to happen. Because nobody -- not even Roger Stokoe Goodell -- really gives a rat's patootie about air pressure inside footballs.

(Home team in CAPS; Thursday lines)

LOS ANGELES RAMS (-4) over New Orleans
This one is so easy. The Saints have covered and won for two straight weeks. They're so overdue for a clunker/stinker, it's not even funny. (The Saints were 2-9-1 against the spread before that "hot streak" against the Panthers and Giants.)

Cincinnati (-2) over PITTSBURGH
I'm pretty bummed. I had found an NFL picks hack in that if Mitch Trubisky was starting for the Steelers, I could simply pick the opponent and win every time. IT WAS A FOOL-PROOF, PLAN.

Yet while we no longer have the luxury of picking against the worst quarterback in the NFL, I don't know that Mason Rudolph fundamentally changes too much. 

Buffalo (-12) over LOS ANGELES CHARGERS
Look, sometimes interim coaches take over and teams get all jacked up and win a game solely from that shot of inspiration. Happens all the time.

But, with all due respect, is that going to happen with ... Giff Smith?

To repeat, I am saying this with all due respect ... but Giff Smith? Will the boys be fired up to play for Giff Smith? I have my doubts! (Giff Smith, it turns out, has 30-plus years of coaching experience. I have no doubt in his competency as a football coach. I simply harbor doubts that the fellas will rally around Giff Smith.)

Indianapolis (+1) over ATLANTA
Things are going poorly for Arthur Smith's crew in Atlanta.

Green Bay (-4.5) over CAROLINA
It's hard coming back from this:

The fact that this week's game is being played on Christmas Eve will probably keep some Packers fans from traveling to Charlotte. But it won't stop all of them from traveling to Charlotte. Should be a weird scene.

Cleveland (-2.5) over HOUSTON
Would be a true shame if this fun Texans run got completely derailed by injury. The NFL should find a way to ban injuries. That would rule.

TENNESSEE (+2.5) over Seattle
Sometimes you've just got to make a "bad" pick because "bad" results happen all the time. And I feel like the Seahawks are going to let their lucky win (yeah, I said it) on a short week with travel on Christmas weekend distract their focus this week.

Washington (+3) over NEW YORK JETS
This is maybe the worst game of the year. Just disgusting. Love it.

Detroit (-3) over MINNESOTA
TAMPA BAY (-0.5) over Jacksonville
 
I don't know. How do people pick games this year? I'm convinced it's impossible. I've been AT IT for a long time, and I don't remember being as mystified with a whole season as I am this year.

Dallas (+1.5) over MIAMI
I wouldn't be surprised if Tyreek Hill manages to suit up and play. But I can't take that risk this far out. I don't have tremendous respect for the Dolphins without Hill.

CHICAGO (-4) over Arizona
OK, maybe I spoke too soon on the ugliest game of the week thing. It's still Mandies-Jets, but this one should make for a tough watch for all involved. Merry Christmas!!!!

New England (+6.5) over DENVER
THE GAMES SURE ARE UGLY THIS WEEK, EH?!

Earlier this week, I liked the Patriots to pull off an upset. Practice absences for Hunter Henry and Jabrill Peppers give me pause on that. Still, have you watched Russell Wilson play football this year? He takes snaps and just stands there. Then he tries to spin out of pressure and run around but he's roughly 30% as fast as he used to be. He is going to turn the ball over three times in this one against a defense that plays insanely hard. It might not be enough for the Patriots to win, but it'll be close enough to force everyone in New England to stay tuned until 11:20 p.m. on Christmas Eve.

Fun.

KANSAS CITY (-10) over LAS VEGAS 
I think I might be putting too much stock into the grumpiness of players who have to travel on Christmas Eve so that they can play at noon local time (and 10 a.m. on their body clock) on Christmas Day for a 6-8 Raiders team going nowhere. But, well, it's a factor. 

New York Giants (+12) over PHILADELPHIA
Sometimes you bet with your head, sometimes you bet with your gut, sometimes you bet with your heart. And sometimes, you have to bet with your funny bone.

And honestly, Tommy DeVito lighting up a Matt Patricia defense on Christmas Day would be funny. I would be entertained. And if Drew Lock can do it, you can too, Tommy.

SAN FRANCISCO (-5) over Baltimore
The 49ers are the best team in the NFL. Will a letdown come at some point? Sure, probably. They're not going to win by three touchdowns every week forever. But trying to predict that letdown would be like trying to catch a fish with your bare hands. Why put yourself through that stress?

Last week: 7-9
Season: 101-113-8

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