This "LeBron's Elbow" Nonsense Has GOT to Stop
So by now you've heard LeBron James' elbow is acting up. You'd think from all the hemming, hawing, and needless fretting going on by sports "journalists", it's so bad he might need to have it amputated. It's become such a big part of this series with the Celtics, it's had to take on a life of its own. via a twitter account. Truth be told, the only thing wrong with LeBron's elbow is that it's attached to an overrated superstar who can't get it done in the playoffs.
(First off, you have NO IDEA how long it took me to make that image in MS Paint. God, I hate the computers we have here at the station.)
The whole business... it's a freaking sideshow. You can't talk about basketball with anyone without somebody inquiring about it. "Oh No! Is LeBron's elbow ok?" Countless amount of segments on SportsCenter and gallons upon gallons of newspaper ink have been wasted heaping needles conjecture on if, how and when LeBron hurt it, so much so that when the C's pull off the upset, LeBron's and his legion of knobslobbing fans will have a ready-made excuse as to why he still hasn't won a damn thing in his life.
("Oh, his elbow fell off, there's no way Boston would have won that series if he was 100%"!)
Look, he's fine. It's the playoffs. If he was a hockey player, the damn thing would have to be hanging from a tendon for him to not play, and even so, he wouldn't whine this much. He's calling attention an awful lot of to it by dismissing it and pooh-poohing the notion it's an issue. It's a convenient issue to have. When things aren't going well- like, say in the Game 2 blowout on his home floor - he was crying and wincing like he'd been shot. "Hey you can't blame me! I've got a bum elbow!"
He can blame his suckass performance on the elbow as much as he wants, but the fact that he's leaning on it as an excuse just shows he's not ready to win a championship. He's used it as a crutch to get more calls from refs; and those are on top of the absurdly ridiculous amount of "Superstar Calls" he already gets. Hey LeBron! Quit bitching! KG's running around on one leg! It's the playoffs, deal with it. He's talented enough to carry this team with one arm tied around his back, but the fact that he's so eager to use the elbow as a scapegoat speaks volumes about him.
Speaking of speaking volumes, this elbow It's gotten so bad that, in the vein of Youk's beard, this previously unheard body part has opened a Twitter account and is tweeting away with all sorts of info about its status. Whoever's responsible for this is hilarious. Here are some of the choice tweets:
MRI at the clinic. Great. Terrific. Just keep the radiation coming. When my first child is born it's going to have 7 nipples and a mustache.
Great, LeBron is going to bed early. Looks like another long night of Chatroulette for me. I'll be the one in the Montel Williams mask.
Delonte West brought a guitar case to practice today. I almost crapped myself until he opened it and it was filled Gummie Bears.
LeBron once delivered a litter of puppies, but then put them back in once he found out they where Laker fans.
LeBron is now on his 4th Double-Down and refuses to wipe his mouth. classy.
LeBron and Delonte West jus did a handshake that lasted 4 mins, ended with both of them weeping and taking a shot of applesauce.
Go check out the feed for more. Oh, and screw LeBron. C's in 5.
Big Head Braden doesn't work for the Sports Hub, but for Karlson & McKenzie on 100.7 WZLX. (Yeah, he thinks it's weird, too.) You can read his other tepid and not-necessarily-Celtics-related musings over at coltmonday.com.
