Hurley's Picks: Roger Goodell should let Tom Brady pick a team for playoffs

BOSTON -- Man. The Buccaneers stink.

That's not new information. The Buccaneers have stunk all year. Their stretch from Week 3 to Week 10 sums up their abilities -- or lack thereof -- quite well. They lost in back-to-back weeks to the Packers (bad) and Chiefs (good), before beating the Falcons (bad) by six points. They then lost in Pittsburgh (bad) and lost in Carolina (bad) before losing at home to the Ravens (decent). They barely beat the Rams (bad), winning by just a field goal, before squeaking past the Seahawks (so-so) by five points.

For the most part, the Bucs are just kind of ... there.

And last week was probably rock bottom. For the first time in his career, Tom Brady was part of a blown 17-point lead at home. And Brady was no innocent bystander. He was fumbling and throwing picks all over the place, looking generally uninterested in his football team. As he has for most of the year.

Probably because they stink.

Yet because the NFC South as a whole stinks worse than the Bucs stink individually, we'll be seeing the Bucs in the playoffs. Barring a different NFC South team winning out, the Bucs will be in the postseason representing that putrid division. And because Tom Brady is Tom Brady, surely there will be some intrigue, and surely some people will even pick them to win at home over, say, Mike McCarthy and the Dallas Cowboys. (OK, that could happen. Probably won't. Definitely could.)

But in reality, the Bucs stink, the Bucs have stunk all year, so they'll also stink in the playoffs. Without an O-line, with a bad head coach, and with a team lacking any semblance of championship DNA, the 2022 Bucs are set to be one-and-done, sending the 45-year-old Tom Brady off into another offseason of mystery, this time after a genuinely wasted year on the football field.

But it's not too late for the NFL to do something about it.

With three weeks left in the season, it's time for NFL commissioner Roger Goodell to earn his 700 bajillion dollar salary and make a bold move that the football world desperately needs.

He needs to let Tom Brady pick a new team for the playoffs.

Listen, is it precedented? Of course not. (That's never stopped Goodell from making an insane ruling on Brady in the past, though, now has it? HAS IT?!)

Is it fair? Not in the least.

Would it work? PROBABLY NOT!

But here's the thing: I want to watch it. And who on this planet matters more than me?

Think about it, though, and there aren't many bad options.

Picture Brady suiting up for his hometown 49ers, kindly asking Brock Purdy to sit down for a bit so that the old man could teach him how to win a Super Bowl. (That would rock, folks.) (Poor Jimmy G, though.)

Or picture Brady going to the Giants, the source of 66.7 percent of his Super Bowl pain, and working with Brian Daboll to drive a ragtag group of fighters to postseason glory.

I wouldn't mind seeing him unseat the spectacularly average Kirk Cousins in Minnesota, as giving Justin Jefferson to Tom Brady would be the type of rejuvenation the QB needs to remember why he's out there in the first place.

Or reunite with Mike Vrabel in Tennessee. Go win in L.A. for the Chargers, who desperately need to be taught how to win. Maybe he could finally end up with the tampering Dolphins after all ... because throwing to Tyreek Hill and Jaylen Waddle in January seems appealing.

There aren't any bad choices. And while it would be arguably the stupidest thing in the history of the sport*, it would make for some dynamite TV ratings. And isn't that what the NFL is, ultimately, all about?

*Just kidding. We all know DeflateGate was the stupidest thing in the history of the sport. And Roger still owes Tom real big for botching that one. Make it happen, Roger. You owe him. You owe us.

(Home team in CAPS; Wednesday lines)

Jacksonville (+1.5) over NEW YORK JETS
The Jets continue to be about 5 percent away from being good enough to win a bunch of games. Though with Zach Wilson driving the ship, it's more like 15 percent.

Atlanta (+7.5) over BALTIMORE
The Falcons are too pesky to pass up that kind of pointage. They've lost three in a row -- by three points, by three points, and by six points. Just two of their nine losses have been by more than a touchdown.

CLEVELAND (-2.5) over New Orleans
The Saints are 1-5 on the road. Isn't that weird?

Detroit (-2.5) over CAROLINA
Am I getting swept up in some Dan Campbell hype? You bet your bottom dollar I am.

Is it smart? Not necessarily. But if you pass up a ride on this train then you simply are not interested in having any fun in your life.

Cincinnati (-3) over NEW ENGLAND
Look. How does a team respond to throwing a game away -- and throwing their season away in the process -- with two laterals at the end of a tie game? We just don't know. We have no data to look back on to determine a trend.

I'm leaning toward "poorly," though.

CHICAGO (+9) over Buffalo
I don't know how many weeks in a row I have to say it, but the Bills are in power save mode. They'll do enough to win, and that's it. They know that there aren't any bonus points awarded for winning big.

Houston (+4.5) over TENNESSEE
Got a head/heart debate here. I've been pretty up-front about the fact that when I see Mike Vrabel looking surly on a sideline, I want to bet my house on his football team. Problem is ... his football team kind of stinks. They've lost four in a row, they have the 29th-ranked offense, and they're at risk of losing the division crown that looked to easily be theirs a few weeks ago.

So while I still think they manage to win this game, I also recognize that the Texans are having an absolute blast these days making teams sweat. After taking the Chiefs to OT, they'll certainly be geared up to try to spoil the playoff plans of a fellow AFC South member.

Seattle (+10) over KANSAS CITY
Come to think of it, the Chiefs might also be in power storage mode. How about a little backdoor cover from Pete Carroll and the boys on Christmas Eve? Can we do it? I think we can!

New York Giants (+4) over MINNESOTA
In this house, we ride with Brian Daboll and the New York Giants. Every. Single. Week.

SAN FRANCISCO (-7) over Washington
I initially hated this line. Washington's not great, but Washington's too good for that line. But not really. Coming off a devastating loss, traveling across the country to play on Christmas Eve, against a team on an absolute heater right now. It's suboptimal for Ron Rivera's team, I would say.

DALLAS (-4.5) over Philadelphia
The Eagles aren't going to go 16-1. Nor do they need to. Likely without their quarterback, in Dallas, against a Cowboys team that would really like to win a football game feels like a spot for another loss to crop up.

Las Vegas (+2.5) over PITTSBURGH
This game is so bad. I might not even subject my family to it on the night of Christmas Eve.

I mean. I may. I probably will. But I might not!

MIAMI (-4) over Green Bay
This game is so bad. I might not even subject my family to it in the early afternoon on Christmas Day.

I mean. I may. I probably will. But I might not!

Denver (-2.5) over LOS ANGELES RAMS
This game is so bad. I might not even subject my family to it in the late afternoon on Christmas Day.

I mean. I may. I probably will. But I might not!

Tampa Bay (-6.5) over ARIZONA
This game is so bad. I might not even subject my family to it in the evening on Christmas Day.

I mean. I may. I probably will. But I might not!

Los Angeles Chargers (-4.5) over INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
Nobody asked for this. Nobody. Not a soul. Not a single person wants to see this.

(I will definitely watch.)

(You probably will, too.)

(What's wrong with us?)

Last week: 7-8-1
Season: 107-110-7

You can email Michael Hurley or find him on Twitter @michaelFhurley.