Martellus Bennett Calls Tom Brady A 'Silver Fox,' Makes Many More Epic Comments In ESPN Interview

By Matt Dolloff, CBS Boston

BOSTON (CBS) -- The NFL and the sporting world would be a much better place if players were allowed to be themselves like Martellus Bennett is - and, for that matter, his brother Michael from the Seattle Seahawks. The duo recently granted a joint interview with Mina Kimes of ESPN, and it's hard to put into words the litany of incredible comments coming from two professional athletes. Seriously, it's a must-read, but below are the highlights.

You've come to expect mostly non-answers from pro athletes, but the Bennett brothers are quite the opposite.

The amazing-ness begins and ends with their quips about various NFL quarterbacks. They gave their thoughts on prominent figures around the NFL, and eventually, Tom Brady's name came up. Martellus described him as, "The silver fox you never get to see but you hear about. You only get to take one photo, and you have to stay outside for a year just to get it."

But that's just the tip of the iceberg. When asked about Jay Cutler, Michael bluntly called him the "worst quarterback in the NFL." Martellus, meanwhile, offered a tacit agreement: "I'd be open and he'd throw into double coverage."

What about Eli Manning? "He's cool. He's like a normal white guy you see at the park trying to teach his kids how to play soccer and you know he can't really play soccer himself."

J.J. Watt? "Corny. Half of the NFL is corny, though." Michael said what most fans outside of Houston are probably thinking: "People love J.J. Watt, but they don't really like J.J. Watt, know what I'm saying?"

They particularly roasted Sam Bradford ... "Vicious. Competitive," says Martellus with a smirk. Michael, who famously ripped Bradford over his attitude, said "The greatest quarterback in the NFL. ... A real Joe Montana."

Curiously, Martellus did not offer any comments on Roger Goodell - perhaps no one on the Patriots is allowed to say anything publicly about the commissioner? - but Michael said: "[Expletive]. Nah, I'm just joking -- you can't say that. Overpaid." (He calls Goodell that thing Felger & Mazz call themselves every day.)

Michael added that Cam Newton is "probably the quarterback I like to hit the most."

If you were concerned about Martellus possibly not catching on to the Patriots' all-business, football-only, listen-to-the-coach-and-you'll-be-fine culture, Martellus told you why you should not be.

"I've always been very coachable," he said. "I mean, there was that one time I made the song 'Throw Me the Ball, Coach' ... but that was just the chorus."

The brothers even deal in surreal, might-be-a-little-bit-racial humor, which may offend some and polarize the easily offended - but ultimately, the league is better off with guys who speak their minds like the Bennetts than without. Take this passage, for instance ...

When I ask the brothers what they would collect if they were as wealthy as the Cowboys' owner [Jerry Jones], they respond at the same time and without skipping a beat: "People."

"I would have somebody who has my blood type and my kidneys -- stuff like that," Michael says. "They would just be on deck. I'd be like, 'My kidney's failing -- it's time!'"

Martellus wags his finger at an imaginary organ donor. "Oh, is that water, Jimmy? It better be!"

"It's time for your heart," Michael says. "I'm sorry -- it's gotta go."

I scan both of their faces, attempting to confirm that they're kidding. Martellus picks up his spoon. "This soup is so good," he says.

Martellus Bennett: Racial satirist, fan of good soup.

About his visit to Jerry Jones' home, Martellus added: "Once you get rich, you start collecting weird [expletive] like silverware." Martellus also offers an alternate name for "NFL" that would make Chris Rock mad that he didn't think of it first.

When Michael was asked what he might grow in his private garden, Martellus jumped in with a "Deez nuts!" Gronk probably appreciates that one.

The Bennett brothers have always been close, as evidenced by the way they finished each other's sentences during the interview. Martellus commented on their tag-team matches against schoolyard bullies: "It was never one-on-one ... If you fought Michael, I'd appear out of the smoke like Batman."

Mixed in with the whirlwind of witticisms is a heart-wrenching story from their youth which was the only time the brothers felt "isolated from each other," when Michael was hospitalized for several months. It only makes you like Martellus and, yes, his brother, even more. When you get such a large dose of Michael's vibrant personality, it's hard not to leave the story beaming about both of them.

Martellus summed up his and his brother's personalities and how warped the NFL and most of its players are when it comes to being themselves in public. And it reaffirms that the robotic, cliche-riddled athletes that permeate all pro sports are the odd ones, not them.

"They think it's weird that we're ourselves," he said. "I think it's weird that you're trying to be something you're not."

How in the world is this guy on the Patriots? Thankfully, for the sake of our entertainment and his own happiness, the Patriots appear to be letting Martellus be Martellus. And thus, the world is a better place.

Matt Dolloff is a writer for CBSBostonSports.com. His opinions do not necessarily reflect that of CBS or 98.5 The Sports Hub. Have a news tip or comment for Matt? Follow him on Twitter @mattdolloff and email him at mdolloff@985thesportshub.com.

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