Mark Davis Is Simply Amazing
BOSTON (CBS) -- Mark Davis is fake life. Fake. Life. That's the only way to describe the life of the Oakland Raiders owner.
Davis, of course, came to own the team thanks to the work of his father, the late Al Davis. All you need to know about Mark Davis can be found in the "Personal" section of his Wikipedia page:
Davis is a graduate of California State University, Chico. Davis says he is a food connoisseur and has said that his favorite restaurants include Dan Tana's in Los Angeles, California, Joe's Stone Crab in Miami Beach, Florida, and P.F. Chang's.
While Davis and his bowl cut have drawn considerable interest from fans around the country -- namely in the form of them guffawing and saying "Whooooo is that guy?!" -- he has remained a bit of a man of mystery.
Thankfully, ESPN's Tim Keown wrote a magazine feature on Davis that runs nearly 4,000 words long. Four-thousand glorious words about Mark Davis, who, by the way, looks like this:
Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis (Photo by Slaven Vlasic/Getty Images)
Oakland Raiders owner Mark Davis (Photo by Thearon W. Henderson/Getty Images)
The ESPN The Magazine article begins with a doozy of an opening paragraph. You really have to take time to slow down and digest each sentence one at a time:
MOST DAYS START the same -- behind the wheel of a white 1997 Dodge Caravan SE outfitted with a bubble-top Mark III conversion kit, a VHS player mounted to the roof inside and a r8hers personalized plate. Mark Davis pilots this machine from his East Bay home to the nearest P.F. Chang's, where he sits at the left end of the bar, same spot every time, puts his white fanny pack on the counter, orders an iced tea and unfolds the day's newspapers. Beside him on the bar, next to the papers, is his 2003 Nokia push-button phone with full texting capability. When someone calls and asks him where he is, he says, "I'm in my office," and sends a knowing nod to the bartenders. It gets 'em every time.
It gets 'em every time!
Among some other highlights in the story:
--Al Davis didn't let Mark ride on the team charter. Mark flew Southwest Airlines instead, buying three seats and lounging out across an entire row.
--He gets comped wings at Hooters.
--He was described by an anonymous source like this: "Imagine if you were 56 or 57 years old and never had a job. And then you wake up one morning and you're running a billion-dollar company."
--When asking GM Reggie McKenzie to acquire two cornerbacks, Davis ripped two corners off his menu at a restaurant to send the message.
--Al Davis kicked Mark Davis out of their house after Mark represented a player in contract negotiations in 1980.
--"He bought two potbellied pigs, one silver and one black, and jokingly referred to them as his children."
--Davis loves his haircut. Loves it.
--Davis was absolutely floored to learn that Barstool Sports wrote a blog about his awesome minivan. "The Suburban rolls to a stop in front of the hotel, and Davis is wiping away tears of laughter as he gets out. He turns to Ava and Butch and says, 'My van's on the f---ing Internet.' Then he just stands there, holding his hands out to his sides, as if to say, What a crazy world."
What a story, and what a time to be alive. Especially if you're Mark Davis.
The whole article is worth reading at least once, and we should perhaps start carving out a little part of each day to appreciate the magnificent owner of the Oakland Raiders.
Listen to Toucher & Rich's Mark Davis impression below:
