Hope Squad encourages students to reach out for help, serve as a resource
NORTH TEXAS (CBSDFW.COM) – Talking about suicide, especially when it comes to our kids, is not easy. It's a big reason just the word alone, carries so much stigma.
But we face a problem in our younger population that isn't going away. Children, young, and through their teen years, often dealing with depression and other emotions that are hard to manage and can sometimes bring thoughts of suicide.
Tom and Ellen Harris represent one of those "worst days."
Their daughter Jordan suddenly and unexpectedly, took her own life in 2012.
Ellen shared, "It took me a long time before I could even have normal conversations with people after she died."
The Harris' said Jordan touched so many lives growing up in North Richland Hills, she was incredibly close to her family, and dedicated to her work at non-profits. I asked Jordan's father Tom to describe his daughter.
"She was a gifted young lady, valedictorian of her class," he said. "Scholarship student at the University of Michigan. Beautiful, athletic, but the most important thing about Jordan was she had a huge heart. Always wanted to help other people."
For the Harris', March of 2012 stands frozen in time. They would later figure out Jordan was suffering silently from severe depression.
It was hard to fathom that this beautiful giving and talented daughter they had raised who cared more to help others, couldn't do the same for herself.
At just 22, Jordan Harris took her own life.
Through the blur of their grief, a sobering reality came into focus for Tom and Ellen.
Ellen recalls, "Once we started sharing our stories with people, and we got their stories in return, then we realized what a huge problem suicide is, and how many people have been affected personally by it, have thought about it themselves."
Students and staff at Brewer High School in White Settlement tell us those scary thoughts, includes kids here. 2016, four years after Jordan's passing, the Jordan Elizabeth Harris Foundation chose White Settlement as the first district in Texas, to launch the Hope Squad.
A new program that then student Ray Mayeaux wanted to be part of.
"They taught us a lot about how to approach an individual, how to question them, how to ask them. Cause that's a hard question to ask. And how to persuade them to get help and then refer them to an adult."
The Hope Squad is a peer-based volunteer team of students and educators who are trained to recognize the warning signs of suicide, and to actively reach out to those who may be struggling.
Mayeaux and others said that in schools, it happens more than you think.
In fact, he had an encounter just days before this interview.
"They just came to me and gave me a hug and said "help." Some people won't be as direct as that, some people will kind of hint that they're struggling, but, it felt good that they felt like they could come to me and talk. "
Hope Squad members like Mayeaux are elected annually by their fellow students, as someone they can trust. Mayeaux joined as a sixth grader in 2016, which was the same year a fellow sixth grader took their own life.
A moment that brings Mayeaux to tears, as he recalls... "When you go to school with somebody even if you don't really know them, you go back and look at the yearbook and you're like "oh, I remember this guy, he was funny." Or I remember seeing him in the hallways. When you lose someone so close to your age it can really hurt you, because even if you don't know them personally, other people around you do. That's one of the biggest reasons why I think it makes me emotional. It's because, it's just, there's thousands of kids in this school, but you don't have to know all of them to be connected with them."
Beth Sweeney is a counselor at Brewer, and she also oversees the Hope Squad program. She said it can apply to anyone.
"Suicide really doesn't have a face. Honestly, as a counselor, I see every demographic. I really do."
Sweeney has overseen the program at Brewer since day one, and said she can't imagine navigating without it.
"They are the eyes and ears of our campus. And although I'm a counselor and I'm always there with an open door, I have 500 kids in my alphabet and so I'm not gonna be able to see all 500 of my kids on a daily basis."
One of the kids helping watch for signs of distress, is sophomore Alyssa Gavrel, who is a Hope Squad veteran herself. She shared what members learn to watch for.
"We learn what people might do or say when they start to think those thoughts. You can kind of tell, let's say you know someone pretty well and they get quiet or stop talking to you. Or, they say "I wish I wasn't here anymore," or "nobody would care if I was gone," or they start acting really different...that's when you kind of step in and ask questions."
Alyssa said she became a Hope Squad member at the urging of her dad Bo, who teaches graphic design at Brewer. He's on the Hope Squad too. Their own family has been touched by suicide.
Bo said being in the program has brought his heart peace on their loss, and hope that he can make a difference.
"I've learned a lot from this, that now I can ask more questions earlier on, pick up on character traits, mannerisms, body language."
Being there for others. Listening without judgement. Keeping hope alive, before it's too late.
It's everything Tom and Ellen Harris hope for now, despite the gut wrenching price they paid. Emotions that Tom admits he struggles with.
"There are times when I'm feeling pretty good and pretty proud about what we've been able to do to help others and then there are days I wish I'd never heard the term "Hope Squad.""
There are nearly 80 Hope Squads in place right now in 19 North Texas school districts.
The Harris' hope to continue expanding the program around the state, and around the country.
They can can found at jordanharrisfoundation.org.
If you or anyone you know ever needs to speak with someone, 24/7 you can call the Suicide Crisis Hotline, at 988.