Days Of Thunderbird: How To Drink At The Ballpark
By Kevin Hageland | @OThankKevin
SURPRISE (105.3 THE FAN) -- On Tuesday afternoon, the Texas Rangers hosted the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (still a stupid name), and I was out in the crowd.
Not necessarily just to watch the game (which saw the Rangers whip the Angels, 15-8, at their Spring Training home away from home), but rather to get to the bottom of a skill that so many people want to master, but so few have.
The art of day drinking.
I saw plenty of people in the crowd of 8,000+ people at Surprise Stadium holding adult beverages, but also noticed signs at all the beverage dispensaries that said, "two-drink or 40-ounce limit" on alcohol purchases.
I wanted to know how folks got around that rule and started with Kim, who works at one of the stands.
"A lot of people will get upset because they want two (25-ounce) beers and they don't read the entire sign to see that would violate the 40-ounce rule," she said. "But that rule is only in place for each transaction."
More: 105.3 The Fan at Spring Training
I followed up by asking if that meant a patron could come back every inning. Turns out it could be even more frequent than that.
"As soon as they walk away and come back," Kim said, "that's a new transaction."
But surely there had to be more to it than that – I'm pretty certain not all the people drinking at the stadium knew the fine print when it came to alcohol serving. So I decided to go straight to the source – asking about day drinking with a group of four fans, all of whom were drinking and some of which were definitely already intoxicated.
"I've already had 2.5 drinks," the first gentleman (who was also probably the most sober of the bunch) said.
I asked if he got them all at once before stating what the restrictions are supposed to be.
"Ha," he immediately replied. "They don't follow that … they don't follow that rule at all."
I heard that same refrain from at least two other patrons during the game while another guy smiled and simply said, "that's what she is here for," while pointing to his wife or girlfriend or mistress … maybe sister … I don't know how they were related, but he was holding her hand – with the other hand holding a beer, of course.
Look, I know Spring Training is a vacation for a lot of people, so I'm not adverse to them day drinking whatsoever.
But if you are going to do that, make sure you enter the ballpark with a plan:
-- DO know the two-drink and 40-ounce restrictions all the kiosks are going to have
-- DO NOT argue with the person selling you the alcohol as this could get you ejected from the ballpark
-- DO have someone with you to also buy the maximum amount of alcohol; this will speed up your buzz
-- DO NOT forget to drink water before (and while) you're drinking as dehydration will end your fun quickly
-- DO drink enough to lower your inhibitions and make you a louder cheerer for your team
-- DO NOT get so drunk that you start a fight – remember, violence (and an arrest) is not the answer
-- DO have solid standards while drinking – that girl isn't as pretty as you think she is
-- DO NOT have standards that are too high – after all, it is still a vacation
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