Dallas domestic violence shelters warn against complacency as another mother is killed

DALLAS (CBSDFW.COM) - It happens more often than the headlines suggest. 

In Dallas overnight, another woman killed by an intimate partner. The victim's 14-year-old daughter shot as well. It is a right now reminder, advocates say, that for far too many women, the greatest danger is found close to home. 

"The numbers are still staggering," said Jan Langbein, CEO of Genesis Women's Shelter. "We know that one out of every three women in the state of Texas will know domestic violence."

And other advocates are sounding similar warnings.

"62% of women who are killed, are killed by an intimate partner," says Mimi Sterling, CEO of The Family Place in Dallas. 

So, if we are not careful, these advocates caution, we can quietly normalize violence when the killer in known. But the awareness and outrage needs to remain. 

"Many people think that this is between a husband and wife," cautions Langbein, "But we know the family, and cousins and even strangers walking by are also impacted by this violence." 

Dallas police have confirmed that others witnessed the overnight murder - including other children in the household. Following a standoff, SWAT officers entered the home early Thursday morning to find the shooter had taken his own life.

Still, advocates are always wondering whether more could have been done to stop the violence from escalating.

"This victim may have been undocumented and often we understand that undocumented people don't reach out for services that are available to them," said Sterling. "And so, at The Family Place we don't care about your immigration status, our services are free, and we are here to serve you."

Over the years, those services have adapted to address additional challenges: everything from counseling to housing and legal support.  

At Genesis, those at risk can even text them for help. It was an option that the agency rushed to get into play after last year's ice storm knocked out power and with it, hotline access.

"We'd take 2,500 calls a year," said Langbein. "Now, we've gotten 15,000 texts. It went from 'oh my gosh we have to have it', to 'now I'm glad we have it'."

Advocates have also worked with police to create an assessment for domestic abuse calls that can help predict who is most at risk for lethal violence.

"That particular crime may have been a slap or a push or a shove down the stairs. But, after these 12 questions... we can determine he's going to kill you. And that can be so powerful," explained Langbein. "The patrol officers have the Genesis number. They have The Family Place number, and they call immediately and identify themselves as having a LAP victim here and we give high priority to that. We will bring that family on in, recognizing how much danger is there. So, we are trying to prevent those next homicides."

And there is more that they are asking of the community, as well - including a new mindset surrounding who is responsible for the violence.

"We cannot put the onus on the survivor to stay alive," cautions Langbein. "This community is going to have to change its conversation from 'why doesn't she get out', to 'why did he do it?'"

For help, resources or just information, visit Genesis Women's Shelter or The Family Place.