Amber Guyger Testifies She Feels Like Terrible Person For Killing Botham Jean: 'I Wish He Was The One With The Gun Who Killed Me'
DALLAS (CBDSFW.COM) - Through tears and words of regret, former Dallas police officer Amber Guyger took the stand on the fifth day of her murder trial on Friday.
♦♦♦ Amber Guyger On The Stand - MORE DETAILS ♦♦♦
Prosecutor: "Why did you shoot Amber?"
Guyger: "I was scared he was going to kill me."
Guyger told a jury her version of what happened inside the Southside Flats apartment building on September 6, 2018.
Prosecutor: "You drove up to what you believed was the 3rd floor?"
Guyger: "Yes I did."
Guyger testified that mistake led her down a hallway into an apartment on the 4th floor instead where she says her keys wouldn't open Botham Jean's door, but it was cracked open.
Guyger showed the jury the police gear she was carrying which she says caused her to miss Jean's red doormat.
Guyger then went on to explain why she shot Jean whom she mistakenly thought was an intruder inside her apartment.
"I have my gun pointed and I say 'let me see your hands let me see your hands.' He was yelling 'hey hey hey' in an aggressive voice."
The former Dallas Police officer admitted firing two shots at Jean who fell to the ground.
Moments later, Guyger says she realized she was in the wrong apartment.
"I was scared. I was scared. This person was in my apartment today and was going to hurt me and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she said.
Guyger says she had to walk outside while calling 911 because she didn't know where she was.
Sobbing through much of her testimony, Guyger told the jury she wishes she could trade her life for the man she killed.
"I feel like a terrible person. I feel like a piece of crap. I hate that I have to live with this every single day of my life and ask God for forgiveness, and I hate myself every single day. I feel like I don't deserve the chance to be with my family and friends. I wish he was the one with the gun who killed me."
At one point Judge Tammy Kemp called a recess because Guyger was breaking down on the stand.
During a blistering cross examination, prosecutors grilled Guyger on her decision to use her gun.
Prosecutor: "You could have backed away and let that door shut on its own?"
Guyger: "I could have."
Guyger was unable to explain why she watched Jean bleed to death despite carrying a combat level first aid kit.
Prosecutor: "Is there a reason why you didn't use this stuff right here which is designed to control traumatic bleeding?
Guyger: "It didn't cross my mind. It never crossed my mind."
Guyger also explained why she erased lurid text messages from her patrol partner shortly before the shooting.
She claims it was to protect his marriage.
Prosecutors have to prove intent to get a murder conviction and when they asked Amber Guyger if she intended to kill Botham Jean she answered, "yes."
The plan is for this trial to continue on Saturday because the jury is sequestered.