Transgender South Bay teen and her parents reflect on their journey
SAN FRANCISCO -- Many kids face challenges during their teenage years, but KPIX recently met a courageous young South Bay teen whose journey towards adulthood has been both bewildering and scary for her and her parents.
Her name is Sky. She's just 15. But that said, Sky is wise well beyond her years.
"I dream of a better world where I realize I'm accepted by everybody or not demonized; where I get to be just a person , just be who I am," she slowly and deliberately stated to KPIX 5.
Sky is transgender. Her birth certificate labeled her as a male. Despite the child's best efforts, the label never fit.
"I mean seeing me try to pretend to be a boy- the phrase fish out pf water is a very apt description," the teen explained.
The journey for Sky and her family has been at times treacherous. Sky recounted how she tried to fit in and "pretend" to be a boy for years. That took a toll, resulting in depression, a drop in grades and self harm.
"Of course, I have scars on my skin. But it also leaves scars on you as a person," said Sky.
Three years ago when Sky was in 7th grade, she slowly took a first step: With the help of a therapist, she came to the realization that her gender is female. At that point, her social transition began with the name change to "Sky" and dressing differently.
"It's looking thru the keyhole and then opening the door," said Sky..
At home, Sky was joined by her parents Kris and Ursula, who also agreed to be interviewed by KPIX News. Sky's parents are 100% supportive of their child.
The way they see it is that there is no normal playbook issued to any parent in this world, and it's a matter of understanding that with Sky, she's the same kid they've known since the moment she was born. With this journey, the entire family is involved.
"Every parent goes through being unsure, being uncertain, until they get to the point that they understand it," said Kris. "This is as simple as gender. It's really not more complicated. It's not ideological. It's not a statement. It's not sexuality. It's a fundamental aspect of who someone is."
"I'm so blessed, so blessed for every moment of it, because she's alive and she's made it thru all this stuff that was really dark and scary and awful," added Ursula.
"It's not like she set out intentionally on this journey. It just unfolded. And so there would be times when I would be assuming she had clarity and it wasn't that way and we had to figure that out together and support each other and give each other grace," said Kris.
Not not everyone has given Sky grace in return. There has been pushback and threats. While changing in a stall in the girls' locker room, she emerged to encounter a hostile teacher. Sky said the teacher proceeded to lambast her and interrogate her, demanding that that young student answer a series of invasive questions.
"The level of disdain and near disgust in her voice...you know, I still feel it," recollected Sky with a shudder.
But Sky told KPIX 5 that the traumatizing interrogations did not stop there. She recounted how recently, a fellow student began to post abusive missives online for all to see. The student called Sky a "creature" and threatened to jump her. Then there was a request by the same person that Sky send nude photographs. Sky revealed that request was followed up with the threat of rape.
The incident was understandably very upsetting to her parents. Ursula wanted to go directly to the school, but Sky asked that she navigate the threat herself, planning to steer clear of the student and not engaging with the person.
Ursula told KPIX 5 that she worries about her daughter.
"We're all living life and trying to get what we need to do to get by," explained Sky's mom, adding there's just so much hate directed at the transgender community. "So much hate comes from not knowing, you know? It's also based in fear. So yeah, I fear for her future," Ursula said.
Sky is now taking hormone therapy. She said the treatment is changing her body in a way that doesn't depress her, but gives her joy. She told KPIX 5 that she is looking forward to surgery to affirm her gender, which would be a few years in the future.
She is also now in a relationship. Her parents told KPIX 5 that they are proud of her, calling her brilliant, and brave.
"I want her to feel fulfilled, happy, passionate about whatever direction in life she's going to take," said her dad.
"I just want her to be a really good person," added Ursula.